One of the hardest things to deal with is loss, it’s a sensitive thing and many times, sharing it is difficult, it takes an experienced fellow to relate, and there are not many. I have lost a whole lot of things in my little time on earth, from relations to material things to immaterial things. It’s almost inevitable not to lose something or the other in life; it’s how it is supposed to be, even though it’s painful and unfair.
One of the few things I know I lost was childhood, I didn’t remain a child for long or as long as was normal, I kind of grew up quickly, I didn’t do a lot of childhood plays and all those niceties. I don’t really know if it was painful or not, but a loss is a loss. Another case is friends; I have grown apart from a whole lot of my friends. I realized this after a whole lot of situations made me switch schools and all; I grew apart from my friends at different stages. It was difficult, of course, but life is like that, I found out and that was it. I was reminiscing a while ago after I saw a class photograph of my primary school days, a lot of memories ran through my head, I felt melancholy as I realized I would never see some of them again.
The death of a relative is always devastating; there is no way to soften it, no pattern of consolation works apart from the one that comes from within. I have lost a few people and I have seen the effect of their departure in my life and environment. It’s difficult to get used to but life has its own way of getting numb to some of these things. They say it gets better with time but it really doesn’t, unless you make a conscious effort to let go which is usually difficult. I have lost some relatives in a different way from death. One of the hardest things I have experienced is watching someone you loved, trusted and depended on change and grow apart from you maybe because of one feud or the other.
I have lost all kinds of material things, some of them were really important, not replaceable, others replaceable, some have lost value at this point in time. Material things hurt for only a little time because most of them are replaceable. Another difficulty is that thing which I intentionally lose. Those things and persons I walked away from, turned my back to, though it hurts like all the rest and even more, this hurt has more purpose, it is strategic and with a reason.
At this point, I count loss as part of life and an inevitable force. There may be counter measures for some of them or ways to protect one’s heart and mind from the toll of losing things and or people. We can always find refuge in God and in people around us, humans are social entities and we can exploit that to bring different levels of healing to ourselves. Above all else, learn from your loss, don’t let the controllable ones repeat.
The Pen Itself!