https://pixabay.com/pt/photos/muay-thai-boxer-juiz-lutar-lutador-7028711/
If we could choose not to worry about being accepted by others. If we could be unconcerned about whether the outside world perceived us in a certain way or another. Would that help us in our lives?
What if we tried to keep in mind that we were going to receive a “no” from the other side? Would that condition us in a positive way? Let's look at the following: If we kept in mind that it was much more likely that our idea would not be immediately accepted, would that give us greater resilience? Could it harden our defenses against criticism, much of it unfounded, from those who did not participate in the creative or development process?
We are given the impression that things can be easy if the ideal conditions exist.
In human relationships, we often see the idea that life as a couple is something similar to the stories and casts of many romantic films. Two people meet... There is chemistry between them. But there is always something that happens that tests them and pushes them to the limit, almost to the point of formalizing a marriage with someone else... But suddenly, one of them realizes what a huge mistake that could be. And they work to create a strong desire in both of them to live a life together...
A few weeks or years later, their dream comes true. They get married. And they have three children, live in a villa by the sea, with a huge park around it and a couple of Labradors. And they live happily ever after...
And this is where things couldn't be further from reality. Just because we find someone who is special, it doesn't mean they are the perfect person. There is no such thing. There are no perfect people for anyone.
When we meet someone we think is worth building a life with, from that moment on and until someone gives up (forced by death or divorce), it is always a constant adaptation to each other and between the two.
There are no easy solutions. What we can do is gradually shorten the space and gap that will always exist between the two. There are no soul mates. The initial spark of someone you have just met is eventually replaced by a more moderate warmth. And that is the energy that must always be preserved and stimulated. There is no pill you can take just once to cure an illness.
When life is more than unpredictable, human relationships must also keep pace with change. Whether it's the other person or ourselves. Nothing is the same, unchanging, that doesn't need to be watered or pruned.
We all have to do our best so that when we hear “no,” we don't just throw in the towel and give up on something that didn't even have a chance to grow.
Nowadays, I see that at the slightest difficulty, we are led to believe that we should always follow our dreams. Pursue our desires. But we must not fail to always listen to the third person in the relationship. In addition to listening to ourselves and the other person, there is a third person, or rather, a third entity that is born when the relationship between the two is established.
Bem Hajam🍀
Free image from Pixabay.com
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
