How do you actually hold on to your values when everything around you keeps pushing and pulling you in different directions?
it’s real. It’s messy. And yeah, we all struggle with it—even if no one’s saying it out loud.
First Off what are Values: Honestly? I think of values as What you quietly believe in when nobody's watching. Like the invisible rules you try to live by. Stuff like kindness, honesty, hard work, family, fairness, creativity… whatever makes you feel grounded. Your values are kind of like your inner compass. They don’t make every decision for you, but they nudge you in the right direction when things Go sideways.
The problem isn’t having them – you already do! The problem is the world constantly trying to nudge that compass needle off true north. The world is loud. Social media, the news, your job, your friends, your family, even strangers on the internet—everyone’s got opinions. Everyone’s got a way they think you should live. And they’re not shy about it.
Sometimes it feels like if you’re not adapting to the noise, you’re falling behind, which might leave us wondering how do we hold onto what we believe in, Our Compass?
- Know your ‘why’: it’s hard to hold onto something if you don’t know why you’re holding it in the first place.
take a quiet moment and ask yourself: “Why do these values matter to me?” Not why our parents told us. Or our church. Or your favorite influencer. You. Maybe I value kindness because I know what it feels like to be treated badly. Or honesty because I’ve been burned by lies. That personal connection? That’s what keeps Our values real when it would be easier to just drop them.
You can say no (and still be a good person): This one’s huge. Sometimes the pressure isn’t loud—it’s subtle. Like going along with something just because everyone else is doing it and you don’t want to seem difficult. But here’s what I’ve learned: Saying no to something that goes against your values doesn’t make you judgmental. Or boring. Or uptight. It makes you someone who respects themselves.
Your values can evolve (and that’s not betrayal) You might be thinking, “But what if my values change?” That’s not a weakness. That’s growth. What matters is that your values come from a real place—not fear, not pressure, not guilt. Just you figuring out what matters as you grow.
Find your people (even if it's just one) This world will constantly test your values. So having someone—even just one friend—who shares your values? That’s gold. People whose compasses point in similar directions, or at least who respect yours. Talking to them, hearing their struggles, sharing your own – it’s incredibly validating. You don’t have to explain yourself so much. You feel seen. And that support? It helps you stay grounded. If you don’t have that yet, it’s okay. But keep your eyes open. The right people do show up. Especially when you're living honestly.
Honestly? It’s an ongoing practice, not a one-time fix. Some days your signal will be crystal clear. Other days, it’ll feel like static. That’s normal! The fact that you’re even thinking about this, that you care about holding onto what’s truly important to you? That’s huge. That’s the first, most important step. It’s about gently, persistently, tuning out the relentless noise and tuning in to yourself. Listening to that quiet hum of what you know is right. Protecting it. Choosing it, bit by bit, especially when it’s hard. Because that compass? It’s the only thing that’s truly, authentically yours in this chaotic, beautiful, messy world. And keeping it true? That’s how you find your way home to yourself, no matter how crazy the journey gets.
You’re gonna mess up. We all do. There’ll be moments when you don’t speak up. Or you go along with something you wish you didn’t. Or you bend when you meant to stand tall. And you know what? That’s human. What matters is what you do after. Reflect. Reset. Keep going. Because staying true to your values doesn’t mean never falling. It means getting back up and choosing them again—even when it’s hard.