Stephen! :) Thanks for playing!
I really enjoy how you intricately tied in several different characters from existing lore; I love to see that! I found myself feeling for the displaced people of Lyveria and hoping that they work together to save the city.
You have great instincts and a good knack for creating imagery!
If I may be so bold as to offer a critical eye, I wish you would polish up your story in terms of writing conventions (punctuation, dialogue, etc). It read a bit like a draft, and I know you've got the skills!
Another thing I would have liked to see is more of a glimpse into the character telling the story, rather than focusing entirely on the characters we already know!
Great job!
You're not the winner this time, but a prize will still be yours. Stand by for some Booster Packs!
RE: The Sack of Lyveria Lead to a New Dawn