When you're in full control, you have the most advantage and your chances of success is higher and that's why most people seek full control over their lives. Parents want control over families, bosses over workers, government over countries and kings over empires.
But life will be life and it did not design itself to give anyone full control over everything around them. There are so many things we lack control over. I would argue that there's more things we can't control than the thing we can't.
So how do we live knowing this and being in this situation?
Epictetus, a philosopher made a good quote regarding this and I'll state it,
The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.
By value he ment paying attention and forcing our way to control. The more you put effort into trying to control what you can't control, the less control you have.
Let's say you're a parent and you notice your kid is starting to live a life which is not right, you speak to them and they don't listening. You've got two choices now. You can either keeping using your authority to force them or you can try to convince them whenever you get the chance.
Maybe one day they'll listen or you'll let life teach them to. But if you choose to force them, the results will be that they'll become more stubborn which means you're losing more control over them.
Love can bring you more control over people than force can.
Many times, I myself worry about things I cannot change, especially things like what others think of me, whether I succeed in everything or if people like me or not.
The problem is that these things are not in my hands. It's not mine to decide. You give too much attention to itz you'll be stressed out for sure. If people disrespect you, the only thing you can do is live life right and don't seek for them to change, have respect for yourself and choose to be around those that respect you.
There are things we have control of. We control our actions, our responses and our attitude. Someone insults you, you could insult them back or you could prove to yourself that you respect yourself too much to go down their level to insult a person.
The power we have is over our own selves. Peace and satisfaction will come more so to the person that pays more attention to what they can control than what they can't.
I usually hate it when it's cold, but I can't control the weather, however I can control what I wear and if I complain about the cold weather instead of thinking of which outfit to wear, then I'm messing up right?
It’s a simple idea, but it can change a life for the better.
I made the thumbnail using Mematic android
Image used in the editing gotten from this site