LOUDER! Hit that Ability, hear the roar, because it's time for Card Interviews & Insights here, on 103.5 - The Boost.

Tell me, listeners.. have you ever asked yourself, "What's day in the life of these Mythical level players?" Well, let me tell you, I have. And there's no doubt in my handles that it's a tireless pursuit of wisdom. Their waking hours spent pouring over strategem, uncovering those wise ways in which they oust opponents. Slumped over the finest floral teas, huffing a pipe filled with exquisite herbs, nostrils coated by alabaster powder of the utmost quality. Ruminating on their pantheon of cards through a glazed monocle, pontificating, with a gorgeous Amazonian upon the knee, air filled with the scent of rich cuisine and genitally sourced pleasures..

Or perhaps they just hop on over to a variety of websites, see what's the meta, and use their excessively deep wallet to emulate what's in vogue. Munching from a pocket full of microwaved pizza rolls, huddled between their hareem of waifu pillows. "Mom! I want a Jason, two Demogorgon's, and a Deuteria! And none of that back sass or I'll soil myself before laundry day." "But darling, have you no self respect running these ruthlessly formulaic decks and how do I know so much about your hobby?" "Look at my deck composition, what do you think! We all run the same cards and rely solely on RNG to scrape out unsatsifying wins! What is this 'integrity' of which you speak, woman? And where's my God damn gallon of sugary liquid!"

Honestly, I just break it up like this for ease of digestion. We can't all be like an acid spewing Arachne, dousing these suptuous segments in salivaic spewtum! It needs to be mulled on, chewed.. Let those enzymes get to work, gargle our offerings before swallowing, please.

Ladies. Gentlemen. Netherbeasts, Mystics and.. the startingly fair skinned bunch of cards we use that'd make the staunchest members of an Aryan brotherhood blush.. It's time for another installment of that Singsong Satire Show you've heard so very little about. Perhaps we're just too edgy, I was the first Atlantean to get his eyebrow pierced - But that's what it's all about. Anarchy, saying "No" to the receipt because you live life on the edge.. And if it breaks you'll go back and argue with the minimum wage clerk who couldn't give a flying fuck. Maybe you regret not taking the receipt.. But, save the planet, don't waste paper. E-receipt? What, so "big (insert company type)" can steal my data? Hell no, I'm sticking it to the mainstream, standing up against the machine.. All whilst spending time and money, getting into a deeper and deeper hole to compete. And that's at the heart of all gamers, isn't it? Digest the content, paying just enough for the privelege to complain like only the entitled can - As though we have any idea of what goes into this sort of thing.. Whining like the mewling babes we are whilst suckling up every last lick of that sour silt from their supple, endorphin inducing teat.

So let's shake things up a little! ..and hopefully earn a little of that sweet advertising Ether along the way. I do enjoy rambling, but yes, it's all about keeping a roof over my head. Sure, I'm from Atlantis, but it wasn't always underwater. Besides, I feel pretty without all that water weight - We're all a bunch of whores deep down, trading something to pad our wallets. Do you think I'm sexy? You like it when I caress my beveled edges, don't you. Oh, I'm spilling contents everywhere and I don't care who knows it! Fill me with whatever you want, big spender. I'm all yours for another card..

Today's episode is brought to you by.. Ugh, I can't believe I'm about to say this. Yes, this is the best we can do, Graham. For the love of Ludia.. it's not like we didn't TRY all the other companies on Campus. We're.. just not there yet, and.. A Public Health Announcement, sponsored by a Legendary, seemed like the way to go. Look, we can't back out now.. well, we've already been paid, so here it goes.

"The Singsong Satire Show" is in assosciation with.. Dick Puddlecote's Lambskin Sheathes - Don't rune your life, show your partner you care with DP."

..do these people know what they're saying? Does.. "DP" not mean what I think it means? I mean, "Dick Puddlecote" - everyone's thinking about a "coat" for one's "dick puddle" are they not? Wow.. I.. I don't know what to say. I thought I was the filthy one in need of a reflection period in the dishwasher, not these degenerates. Still, at least they're promoting safety.. I guess. And they're the only brand around looking to protect your Cards from an unwanted bout of Aetherrust.. Not that I'd know what that's like - I'm clean! ..these days. I've been buffed and polished! Y'know when you sit out in the sun.. passed out after a heavy night on the tiles. Coated in a fine layer of.. Lord knows what. A cool breeze can be your worst enemy! Oxygen, the very lifeblood of you flesh and blood organisms. Bunch of filthy sentient meatbags - disgusting.. It's not my fault.. sometimes people don't clean me up after dipping something in me, or maybe rubbing my handles up against themselves.. A little residue isn't all bad in the moment, and it's not like I can clean myself up all that well. Besides, it makes a cup feel wanted..

And that segues into our main topic from around the Arena Campus! No interview today.. It doesn't seem anyone wants to talk with us, unfortunately. But.. In the spirit of sexual responsibility, it's no secret that in that other, drab dimension some of our listeners inhabit, various contests and feats of strength culminate in an "Olympics" much like our own - though without the inhuman contestants we accrue this side of the void, not that we're without doping scandals here.. Hercules got found with a Canonize in his bag last year. But Zeus pulled strings and got him off the charges. Those Legendaries, honestly. Entitled bunch of.. Anyway! Those Olympic "villages" are host to some of the most rampant and raunchiest sexual activities ever known. They hand out prophylactics as a matter of practice! Get a bunch of gorgeous, fit people together in a hotel.. You're bound to create the next tier of demi-God's, are you not? I have a feeling it's contractually obliged. Those conceived on Olympic grounds are property of that country and can be used in future competition.

Well, this trial is no different. Interracial, interspecies, intergalactic.. it's.. beautiful, quite frankly. Truly brings a salty tear to a one eyed monster.. Cyclops are gentle souls, deep down. And in the spirit of Sodom, with a garnish of Gomorrah.. This place is a veritable hive of non-denominational ploughing. And a lot of it goes unprotected. These beasts.. those Dionysian Bull's are always forgetting to wrap up their dongs after a little too much of the fermented nectar, let me tell you. And do you have any idea the gestation period for some of these mana imbued creatures? They're literally birthing all over the place. And not one per litter, OH no.. We're talking entire broods of dozens.. Spilling out onto the forecourt. Especially those Nethers.. and there's no infantile stumbling, no. Rickety legs? Not a chance. Those offspring are scrambling around, wrecking up the place from the moment they spawn.

Demons.. They're prolific and filthy buggers, the lot of them. And they've got my utmost respect. Void Banshee's bang like there's no tomorrow, with reckless abandon and bloodshed. However that wild spraying of genetic material can go awry from time to time. But we've a dedicated service for destroying the occasional abomination that demands an end to it's suffering, you needn't worry. We're very much pro-life around these parts - namely everyone else's, because a newly born demon lacks the decorum of it's parents and is a senseless, instinctual - OH CRAP. Quick! Hide, hide!

"YEAH! Sentient Amphora! Let me get a sip!" - Damnit, I knew it.. It's that bloody Raving Fan. He follows us literally everywhere. I mean, I want to be famous don't get me wrong but this is just weird. Damn.. did he see us? God's he's still screaming out there.. SHHHHHH! "Hey has anyone seen that little bronze baby.." HEY! I'm not made of bronze, I'm worth more.. Shit. "HEY!" He's just getting stronger and stronger the more time goes by.. Can we shut him up? Seriously.. we need some security. For our one, singular fan. Hopefully the rest can be less.. rabid. At least not in this way. Where are the good looking creatures at? This guy's out here looking like a Troll Doll. Who's buying that teardrop hairstyle man, seriously? "OH MY GOD'S HE SPOKE TO ME! Am I on the show?"

..run, RUN! Let's get out of here. "WAIT, COME BACK! I'VE GOT A RAG AND SOME POLISH.. Let me rub you down.."