Hi, I am Arveno from Surabaya city. In this content i want to share and want to get your opinion guys. Did all Parents need having "Me Time" in their live or need to be give 100% dedication to the future. Lately i really having some kind of dilema in my life. I dont know this is caused i consume too much sugar that makes me feel that way or this is happened to everyone. My problem is, it feels like i never enjoying my own time with what i like. And even i do what i like, i have guilty feeling in my heart since it kinda not fair that i have fun by myself. It is like Toxic to my mind and body right?
If you guys following my content, you definitely know that i am really close with my son. And i really dont want to miss a single event when he is growing like today i have some kind anxiety and nervous because today is the first time my son asking playing and visiting his friend house. I am afraid that he will give bad influence or he will doing something bad or making chaotic or something even though deep down in my heart i still believing that my son will be okay. But, yeah sometimes nervous can bring disaster inside my brain. I am the person who overthinking too much.
As my child gets older, i really feel that i am the one that looks like my parents when i seen them in the past. It is like blurry memory and images but i still familiar with what they give what they angry about and what they nagging about. But, i dont remember that they having Me Time in their lives except Marital relationship. Yeah i think husband and wife still need them right. But, beside that i really dont remember how they spend their time to have their me time. Thats why i decided to call them this afternoon after i have my own Me Time.
Mostly i spend my tiem and money to something that really cheap and too much individual. Like for today after i take my son to his friend's house, i am going to Indomaret Point and buying Coffee and hangout alone in there while waiting time to pick my son from his friend's house. I dont know but sometimes i really enjoying my time alone without any noise and without any time pressure. And beside this alone time hang out i really love spending money to collecting unusual toys or collection.What the problem in me is sometimes i feel guilty and kinda like broken heart and kinda pain in my chest when i am enjoying spending time alone or buying toys for myself. It is like it supposed to be buying for family first. Or my time is for my son or my wife first. But, it is really like that?
So, after all done and i have time to make a call with my parents, i asked them. And their answer is kinda surprised me. Turns out that they have their own me time. Even they have separated me time that need time or space for being alone as person. Even my dad said to me "What the purpose of life and having money if you dont have time to enjoying life by yourself". This sentence is really deep for me. Wonder why my father did not wise when i am younger. Maybe i dont need to be badass rebelion kids first before experiencing like this. And my mom also said "Even though married, we are human after all need some personal space and need to respecting each other personal space". I know that my parents is not the perfect husband and wife and i dont think they are compatible each other. But maybe because they have principal that respecting each other personal time for Me Time that can make them still together.
After received advice like that, i am having conversation with my wife. But, the problems is not from my wife or my son. The problem is inside my heart. Even though my son and my wife dont mind if i have personal space or my own Me Time. But, my brain and logic plus overthinking makes me feels accusing me that i am not fair to my little family. And also my own mind that makes me burden all the time. And i really dont know how to control this situation. My wife giving me advice that i need to try several times until I'm starting to get used to it. Maybe she is right and what i need to do is just do it. And i need to practice to ignoring all this negative thought inside my brain from overthinking. It is like i fought Anxiety like in Disney movie Inside Out 2.
But, what do you think guys??
Did you guys having Me Time after having kid?