In times like these it's best to focus on the positive moments to distract myself from the disaster that has happened during our Phnom Penh trip.

A View Of Queen Mansion 👸

We've arrived in Phnom Penh and checked into our usual hotel, and things were initially off to a promising start. We have come because the Ministry of Foreign Affairs assured to assist me with solving my longterm visa issues by getting married and then later returning for a K-Visa. Before dealing with any bureaucracy, we always take showers, get some rest, and eat to recharge ourselves. I enjoy looking through the bars at the distant Queen Mansion building, and with a fancy name like that you can be assured you're not staying there for less than many hundreds of dollars per month, perhaps even more than a thousand.

Freebies At The Mall 💘

One of the required things we were told by the MFA is that we need to be married first, which we already are, but in typical corrupt Cambodian fashion, they only accept marriage certificates produced within the country. I was told to get my stack of documents and a certificate of single status from the US Embassy, and that set me back $150. We also paid the MFA $80 of "tea money" to assist us through the process of obtaining the K-Visa. We arrived at the US Embassy early, and I noticed we had enough points on our Smart cell phone app to claim a hooded sweatshirt from the mall around the corner.

After we used our points to collect the hoodie from the shop in left in the background, we passed by Auntie Anne's and the owner offered us free pretzels for a social media selfie post. I hate going in malls because none of the shops ever have anything that interest me and it's all too expensive, but it was pretty cool to leave with some pretzels and hoodie totally free of charge.

Pizza Time 🍕

For dinner we walked to a nearby Italian restaurant for some pasta and pizza marinara. It is possible to enjoy vegan Italian food, and pizza marinara is a traditional pizza, but I've rarely seen it on menus beyond real Italian restaurants. In Ecuador I couldn't even convince a pizza chef to try making a pizza marinara for us, they thought we were crazy to want a cheese-less pizza and refused to make it.

Visa Setbacks 🛃

Well, long story short, two major setbacks have happened. The guy forgot to mention the cost of getting married in Cambodia is $1,200, a total surprise that came out of nowhere, and something he forgot to mention in all the weeks we communicated and prepared everything before coming. We can't produce that kind of money so quickly, so I stayed up all night stricken with panic attacks, then withdrew all my non-Hive crypto which totaled $1,206, ironically.

Early in the morning we were about to go and pay the Ministry of Foreign Affairs the ~~corrupt outrageous fee~~ the totally normal price for getting married when we got a call from the guy to let us know the K-Visa is only for people with Khmer DNA, something we already knew and told him early on in our talks. We have the whole chat on Telegram, he assured us we aren't familiar with the latest changes to immigration law. Well, turns out I was right and he admitted to not even checking if the K-Visa was available for people with Irish potato farmer DNA.

In the end he apologized and told us he already spent the money, so he couldn't return us our $80. We asked what good a Cambodian marriage certificate would do when it won't help to obtain residency here, and he said it would help us to immigrate to other countries. We informed him we already have a marriage certificate from Suriname, and already used it to start the US Immigration process, so a Cambodian marriage certificate is a useless $1,200 piece of paper that doesn't give me any additional rights or access to residency.

In the nicest words possible, we told him we were quite upset that we've already spent $500+ on hotels, food, diesel, documents, and bribes to make it to this point. We didn't even need to come to Phnom Penh, the guy is a total fool, and now I've got less than three months before we face a forced family separation. Thank you Cambodia and the USA for once again placing obstacles to my family's unity.