Good morning or pick your own pleasantry, something along those lines is what I think I mean anyway. It is currently 4 am My time and after a few hours of something vaguely resembling sleep.
I'm Bored.
Like looking for paint chips to eat and counting dog hairs on the cushions bored.
We've all been there I know, But because its My boredom not yours I Diagnose it as Terminal.
Potentially even Fatal.
A Wise man once told me that there are only so many times you can wank and so many sandwiches you can eat before you need to change things up.
He was so Right.
I have managed to achieve Critical Mass after exhausting all of the above options, and this is my last recourse before insanity sets in...
I...Must...DO...SOMETHING
So now It has begun... I have started looking through a Folder on My PC that usually causes me to sweat profusely and search for the nearest beverage with a High Proof.
120 Minimum, Preferably the stuff they use to sterilise medical equipment.
That dreaded Folder called Simply...
B&W
(Plays the twilight zone theme song in reverse.)
Fuck me, I don't know how some of you got so good at this...
So I guess lets get started sorting out the Decent from the Bad and Ugly.
CTRL, Click, Delete.
Sorting the obvious fuck ups has reduced the total number to... 2647 Files...
Oh Fuck this, Son of A (This content has been censored for the next 12 sentences)
What you want an example of what I just deleted?
Fine.
Lets start with my most confusing piece.
I like to call it- What the Fuck is This.
Seriously I don't even know what this is... I took the picture, I was there and I have no clue what I took a picture of.
NEXT.
I don't mind this one, I'm pretty sure I didn't get it right but the one next to its a picture of my thumb and somehow the couple of hundred before it are blurrier than I am.
This next picture is of one of every French towns favourite staple village square decorations.
The Water fountain of Freezing cold Feet.
Seriously It made me get wet feet on a freezing cold day. It is the best one from more than I care to admit but its getting included.
Because I fucking hate wet feet.
Now This one I like because It stood alone in the folder,socially distant from its fellow JPGs.
The surrounding photos looked like a modern art exhibition at a Crack house, and At some stage I took one Picture of lots of trees.
So because I obviously felt comfortable then with only one attempt, I must give past me some credit and include it.
Now This is one of my personal favourites. Not well focused or anything but the subject more than makes up for it.
A Few Months ago I had cut the lads hair into a high standing Mohawk, cause he wanted one.
This Picture was taken at the end of the day, Mohawk deflated and flopped, while we were at a friends house.
He was smacking those keys like they owed him money.
Like a boss.
Not Really sure why I like this one, But I do. I think its because the grain of the wood in the carving. And the Light seemed good.
Only just realised the cracks in the wood make it look like this lil cherub has had a lobotomy and fell on the wrong side of the Mob.
Strange the things you see when you get to coffee pot two.
I'm so sure My skills don't do this last one justice but Imma be including it anyway.
This is possibly the worlds coolest tree stump.
It has Gone almost entirely white over the years and I have no idea how long its been a stump and not a tree.
It hasn't fossilised, but the damn thing looks like a tree skeleton.
So Yeah I like this stump.
No, I Love this stump. It gives me wood.
Well would you believe its nearly 8am now and the lads just getting up for breakfast.
I have successfully past these last 4 hours without dying of Terminal boredom and have now put on some cartoons and made cereal.
Which is currently the height of my culinary skills.
I'm going to put on coffee pot number 3 and escalate my caffeine induced anxiety to a frenzy before I edit this and hit that big blue publish button.
Disclaimer:
All content above is written by me and may induce Terminal Boredom, I am uncertain if its contagious but its best to read this from a safe distance, reflected in multiple mirrors if possible.
As Far as I have been informed I am not a Photographer, Professional or otherwise, photographers use Nifty Lenses and I am fairly certain they do not take regular pictures including their thumbs.
All Photos taken with My chinesium Xiaomi Mi 11 Lite