This is the mystery of how I woke up in a place where a lady explorer with massive tits had recently been in. At its best, her voice could be described as a super-loud noise, that sort of jumbled into one loud and uncomforting hellish fucken sound.
Sure, I said to myself as I hung seductively like a sex python from the door frame, this makes sense…you know India's in Asia, right? I pondered the thought as I drifted further behind my own eyes…what had she done to me???

I watched MTV go straight to hell and thought hey, why don’t I give that a try? After all, what’s a little butt-cheeked innuendo between dirty-legged tramps? I laughed at the thought and crawled out from beneath all the boxes and totes and shit. Reality slipped further from my grasp.
How had I wound up on top of a 10 foot ladder changing light bulbs in the ceiling while the dude working register had fake tits and acrylic fingernails??? I found myself, in some deep corner of the delusion, asking Kermit the frog to show me the exit…and wound up deeply regretting it.