Since I was a child, I have never been in a position of authority, where my opinion mattered.
In fact, in my extended family, I was the one whose opinion was least valued, and I have never been in a situation where I could say much and people would listen, so most of the time.
A small man
I identify as a small person, because that is where I am in most aspects of life: I do not have money, I am not the healthiest person, I am not in government, I am not attractive or muscular, and I do not have many people who regard me highly enough to see everything I say as a command or see any special thing in whatever I say
A few days ago, I was talking with a few content creators on Twitter using my partner's account; apparently she did not like it very much; she wanted me to focus on socializing with big content creators who would drive the monetization value to the account; in her words, she referred to them as "nobodies."
However, I did not see these people as such; instead, I saw them as smaller creators driving traffic to her page, despite the fact that it has no financial traction for her; apparently, I forgot I was speaking to them on her behalf and was speaking to them as if I were speaking to them myself. Then I wondered, if I were richer, healthier, or had a large web2 account, would I have a completely different personality?
Perhaps not; I have always identified as a small man, and I do not think having $10 million in my bank account will change that. Why? I believe I spent the majority of my early and middle years trying to make ends meet, rising from the ashes, and fighting the force of gravity that naturally pulls you down when you are disadvantaged.
Personally, I prefer to refer to myself as a "nobody." Why? I have not driven any innovation, have not financially or mentally changed anyone's life, and have not accomplished anything significant.
If anything, I like to think I have been selfish with myself, working hard to care for my health and small family without looking around. In fact, I have been touring hospitals more than I have been visiting people or showing kindness lately.
This is not because I do not want to be kind; rather, there is a gravitational force that constantly pushes whenever I try to pull.
So yes, I am a nobody. However, I realize that coming to this woman as a nobody may have been because I was able to offer financial partnership and incentives, which is why she values me, but when all that is stripped away, I am just a poor man trying to put food on the table, have enough money to buy medicine, and get basic things done.
So, yes, I do not believe any financial gain will be enough to change me.
I'm too poor to have a rich man's mindset
I am not sure what character I will play or whatever character I will need to play in life; in fact, I might be a very poor character because it will be difficult to make me "act" as someone else; this life is literally embedded in my DNA, and even if I am riding in a Ferrari and wearing a three-piece suit, I would rather have a conversation with a regular man than a wealthy man; at my core, that is not who I am.
I am not saying I want to stay poor or middle class, whatever. It is like going to the United States at this point in my life and spending 20 years there; my accent will not change, why? Because I am already who I am. I am grateful for life experience. Most of the time, I am grateful that I have been able to fend for myself since I was 17.
A life that's never forgotten
It is been a difficult life, but I have seen life from a perspective that many people do not understand: being fired, receiving low pay, not having enough money to buy food, and experiencing emotional and physical abuse.
That life leaves a mark on you; it is etched in your very essence like a leech on your skin; you become one with your experience, and your story and history form a significant part of your identity.
At this age, I believe I am no longer adaptable to any change that a good life may bring; I am who I am, and I will always remember that.
Interested in some more of my posts
Why Is the grind getting harder?
Monopoly Is the Death of Civilization
Survival: Choas and Scarcity
Crypto: Gut & meaningful Connections
What is the primary barrier to entry in Web3?
What Are Some Things You Should not Do During A Bull Market Year?
