My partner and I recently received our first pay from one of those infoFI gigs, which was 800$. It was not a lot of money, but I received 385$, she received the same amount, and the remainder was for gas fees. Ironically, we completed one full month of work together after working hard for four weeks to achieve other goals.
It felt great because my medications were running low, I was devoting too much energy and time to research work, and because this woman is insatiable, she was constantly demanding more efforts, productivity, and results.
I thought I was the only one with these characteristics: pushing myself until I ran out of energy. Apparently, I went, and we have been working really hard, testing crypto protocols, doing project reviews, writing project threads, and doing late-night research, with me doing 80% of the work.
However, when we got paid for one of the protocols we were working on, it felt great to have something to compensate for all of the stress, and the motivation to keep going became clear in that moment. To be honest, I despise this hustle; it is the epitome of "hate the job, love the money."
Who doesn't hate jobs but loves money?
I despise deadlines and do not understand pressure, but my partner clearly recognizes that I am passionately driven, and she takes advantage of this. I despise deadlines, which is most likely due to the fact that I am too old and unfit to handle them.
I can not watch TV or even go outside to get some fresh air; I work 12 to 14 hours per day, and I sometimes get angry because I have to do all of this. Technically, I am still learning on the job; my partner and I were both clueless at first, and I can not believe how much we have learned in one month.
We cannot afford to slip up because there are many people competing for the money we are fighting for; it is not an unlimited pool; it is for those who persevere. On the plus side, I can afford my medications again, and perhaps pay hospital bills with the next paycheck. I will probably have to start buying HBD with the third paycheck, if I do not lose my mind before then.
One thing is certain, though: I will probably quit this job in December, but only if Hive reaches $3. If not then I'll have to continue that gig. Perhaps money alone is insufficient motivation.
If the means of making money become too difficult, the pleasure derived from the satisfaction of having to meet needs and wants will not be sufficient to compensate for the difficulty that is initially experienced in making that money.
However, more money brings more satisfaction; unfortunately, my partner and I are still in that rat race, where we are stressed, worried, and overworked about how to make the right impact for bigger rewards; unfortunately, I despise the whole grind; however, perhaps one day, the money will be enough to remove the sense of futility.
We need more to do more
However, if there is one advantage to this job, it is that I forget about my chronic conditions and all of my other life problems. I do not even have enough time to worry about my problems because I am constantly at work, and secondly, 24 hours now feels like 6 hours, so why is this good for me?
Alt season perhaps?
For one thing, as the days pass, we get closer to October and November, when most altcoins will undoubtedly be pumping hard, and second, I forget that I lost my sibling only 22 months earlier.
While I do not want to forget, I would rather not dwell on the guilt that it was all my fault. I have made my atonements, and while the pain of the unrealness of the whole thing haunts and stings me every day, perhaps I only get to think about it at night and not all the time.
Conclusion
Overall, $385 is a reasonable sum for me, not bad for a month's work. Life is all about taking risks; I have taken countless risks in the past because I do not want to have a "disability mentality"; I do not want to believe that I am what I am going through (even though that is the case).
I still want to work hard to make a difference, and I want to try and learn things I do not know, especially when they come with financial gains. Newsflash: I stopped working 9 to 5 in 2018, and it has been nothing but hustle since. I will continue to share my progress, but why? Obviously, if a blockhead and tired man like me can do it, so can anyone.
Interested in some more of my posts
Why Is the grind getting harder?
Monopoly Is the Death of Civilization
Survival: Choas and Scarcity
Crypto: Gut & meaningful Connections
What is the primary barrier to entry in Web3?
What Are Some Things You Should not Do During A Bull Market Year?
