I'm 29.6 years old now, I consider myself a multipotentialite: Someone who doesn't specialize in a specific field but is constantly learning whatever catches their interest in a way.
The fact that I might need to become a specialist in one area one day makes me terrified, the thought of being in a job I can't change also makes me uncomfortable. That's the mere thought of it.
I'm currently doing a part-time job online that shouldn't take my freedom, yet I miss some days for no reason, the day just ends with me doing nothing work-related... When I do, the bad feelings escalate, stress piles up and I miss more days because I have to process those feelings now. I hate this, yet it seems I don't hate it enough as I keep repeating that cycle while knowing how dangerous it is! I'm too afraid of seeking help!
You know what? ...I don't care anymore!
I was going to write a post about what I learned about multipotentialism and the article I read recently about using it as a special power, where I think I stand in regards to that post, and how I think I can improve, but I'm too depressed to think positive now, so I'll just dump the rest of my negative ranting here.
Maybe you'll relate, find it interesting or someone might actually succeed in helping me get better!
I'm too unstable! I can't predict what I'll want to do in the next 5 minutes, and I can't do anything unless I want to do it! Incentives don't affect me as much as they do other people, depending on me is just asking for delays. The worst of it, I kinda like being unstable! I fear and hate restrictions. I hate bordem, I seek constant stimulation in the most lazy ways possible, yet when I sleep at night I can only think of how my day could've been better!
I'm too eager to start a new thing, yet I'm too lazy to finish anything. After some point, everything becomes boring and stressful! While writing this I have more than 20 articles I've started writing that I haven't finished yet! I still plan on finishing the next UBW article from my series of more than a year ago. TotallyNotMark returned to Youtube before I completed my series reviewing his videos from before he left! Yet, I can't get myself to continue writing them!
I'm just a sponge of trivia, information whose connection only I can see. Information that is given to the right person at the right time could help many people, yet I don't have the drive to do anything of value with it! Instead of trying of breaking the negative cycle, the only thing I seem to know is feeding it more and more!
I hate this...
- Image is from Pixabay.