Are you doing only what you can do and what you’re good at or are you allowing yourself to do what you most want to do?
If you’re supremely capable, or amazingly clever, or naturally gifted at a range of things then it can be easy to think that doing what you can do and you’re good at is a ‘good’ thing. But doing this might cause you to fall into a trap you never meant to make.
If you’ve mostly built your life around doing things you can do and that you’re good at and you now realise that you’re just not as happy or fulfilled as you could be, then please understand you’re not alone. This is a trap I’ve also found myself in at different times in my life and I want you to know that this is something you can change.
We are taught specific ideas about what it means to be successful and it has far more to do with external metrics and creating or collecting things that other people can applaud us for. At this point in our human evolution, particularly in western societies, we don’t collectively see a successful life as one that is full of joy and purpose, satisfaction and vitality.
And yet, what the heck kind of life do we have if we don’t experience those things??
We only have to look at some of the most powerful politicians, the most well-known celebrities and the most wealthy of business leaders to see that having a lot of power, fame and money don’t necessarily give you the kind of life that you and I want.
But let’s be clear here: power is not the problem, fame is not the problem and financial wealth is not the problem, per se. I’m sure between the two of us, you and I could find politicians who still have joyful and nurturing relationships (hello, Barack Obama), well-known celebrities who have positively, purposeful lives (hello, Alanis Morissette) and wealthy business leaders who are vitally healthy (hello, Arianna Huffington).
The problem is if you build your life around only the things you’re good at and ignore the things that you truly want to do then you end up with a life that makes you feel trapped.
Of course, if do you feel somewhat trapped in your life and you don’t feel as joyful, satisfied, purposeful and vitally alive as you’d like, then the solution is simple:
Identify what you would truly love to do and just start doing it.
Simple, yes. Easy? Maybe not.
Once upon a time, you were a toddler, and if your home was anything like mine (and most people’s on the planet) you probably heard the word “no” when you asked for what you wanted more times than your tiny brain could then count.
But every “no” was heard by you. Every “no” was felt by you. Every “no” registered in your brain and your body and — unless you’ve moved or cleared these out of your body — those imprints are still living in there.
So if you struggle to know what you want, if you struggle to ask for what you want or struggle to pursue what you truly want to do in your life there is a very good reason.
Your body still believes that someone is going to say “no” to you and it’s therefore not safe to ask for or do that thing you want to do.
Awareness is the first key. If you didn’t realise it before you read this article, now you can see it and now you know. From here you can use the tools you have (meditation, journalling, mindfulness, EFT tapping or any other effective transformational tool) to change the beliefs and behaviours that are keeping you stuck in a life that maybe isn’t all you hoped for.
Before we wrap this up, let me share what inspired me to write this article in the first place.
A few days I realised I really don’t want to have business Facebook Pages anymore. I went back and forth with my thinking; “But I should…” and “I know how…” and “it’s not that hard…” and “what if people want me on there?”, etc, etc. My clever, busy mind was full of all the beliefs and the “can’s” and the “should’s” of people who have come before me.
But the truth of what I want is to be sharing my writing and teaching and resources on platforms that I love being on (like Instagram for my short-form content) and am* enjoying* exploring (like YouTube for the stuff I want to physically speak out loud) and find intuitive and easy (like Medium for my long-form content). And of course, I want to be on the ever-evolving and continuously-challenging, decentralised hub that is the Hive blockchain 😄
So I’m ditching Facebook for my business stuff. I don’t enjoy it. It feels like a drag. And I’m allowed to leave any space that doesn’t feel good to me.
And so are you.
