It has been more than 24 hours and maybe 36 hours to be exact since I slept and now I am not yet that sleepy. The weather has been toasty today, I do like this heat and I am sweating but not that profusely though.
It is the rainy season so I might even expect rain later in the evening. I still feel relaxed because of Gabapentin that I also took last night but didn't caused me to get some needed shut-eye but I am a bit confident that I will soon sleep but not until caffeine had fizzled-out from my system naturally.
Well it does suck to be in this situation where I am in a dilemma if I would use Caffeine and Gabapentin or not because I needed both, Gabapentin in particular because it shaves some of my body pain emanating from the nerves coming from my backbone.
I wished that the days and night are longer because I can enjoy the benefits of both for my body. I like the heat of the day because I can somewhat detoxify my body while the night time gives me some peace and quiet and both seems to go so fast, time goes so fast if you are not doing something in your life that you love or wanted.
But for me I do like to die and I wanted to see the light of another day at the same time. So whatever my fate brings me I will just try to live it through because I can't do suicide nor turn my life around into what I want because my hands are tied.
I just have to focus now and not lose heart and hope because life is crazy like my life and I might enjoy some comfort soon if God wills it for me. This life is oh so tough and my body is a tough, tough nit to crack, I wanted a lasting relief, some chunk of my lifetime that I can at least enjoy and not like being a vegetable laying down almost 24/7 in my bed battling pain and discomfort all the pitiful time of my distressed life.