I had a big load of caffeine again due to my continuous effort to last my dialysis. Still I am getting the low blood pressure episodes but at least I am able to complete it unlike before where the nurses just prematurely terminates my session even though I am not feeling anything often.
But when I say "return" then they would just swiftly stop my dialysis and return my blood because they know by the time it happens my BP is already in the "near shock" levels.
Fortunately my blood pressure just recovers fast or at least what I would feel but as soon as my vision starts to dim and my stomach would start to churn, that will be the time to throw the towel of submission.
But for as long as I can endure it I will really endure it because you know I want to complete the cleaning process because I only go for dialysis twice a week so every bit of minute under treatment is very important for me because for one thing I wanted it to clean my body from toxins and also the phosphorus that makes my parathyroid go berserk against my bones.
Now my Caffeine use is just me biting the bullet even though it now gives me insomnia I guess it is maybe worth it rather than having my dialysis terminated prematurely I just have to accept this kind of compromise afterall I can be able to sleep anyhow after a few hours.
I am just thankful that the resulting wake-up time for me as a residual side-effect is not wasted because I could make use of my overstimulated brain and peeled eyes by blogging rather than trying to sleep, twisting, and turning on my bed or passing time watching videos or streaming my favorite music from YouTube, but with blogging in this platform I could make myself some bit of money in the process.
But of course I needed to sleep but I can't so I just make myself fruitful by doing this "work" that fortunately I am enjoying otherwise I will not be able to do this nonstop for more than three years now.
So "time-wise" my intermittent insomnia is good because I can convert my time into a fruitful manner but my health suffers as I am starving myself with my needed sleep which again I have to accept for my said reasons.
Insomnia is really in my view and opinion is a writer's blessing because you can just make yourself busy even with other things like maybe doing chores or your hobby. As for my case where I can only do is to write in this platform, it is benefiting me by distracting myself, entertaining myself, keeping my mind busy, keeping my mind far from thinking negative things, and earning on the side which makes me happy.
But I was already up at around 1:30 AM yesterday because I relatively had slept early so after waking-up I could not sleep anymore.
At around late in the morning I just wanted to sleep again but we have to go for my dialysis so my longing for sleep just got interrupted as I have to take those Caffeine capsules again but now I could not possibly sleep because of the residual stimulating effects of caffeine. I am now waiting for the effects to fizzle off maybe late in this morning and then only I will hopefully get my needed rest.
That is the situation that I am into right now, quite as complicated as my health burden, just taking in compromises so that I can patch another problem.