There must have been something I did right along the way. Looking around me, things could be a frabillion times worse!
There's food on the table. Gas for the stove. Electricity is working. Cars are running with payments made, insurance, and valid registration.My wife is suffering a cold, but other than that we've all been healthy.
Water is clean and running. We live in a nice neighborhood that doesn't see too much crime. Both our kids are off to a great start at school in their new district!
How Could So Many Bad Decisions Lead To This?
Maybe bad is just a poor descriptive choice of a word? Perhaps not all decisions are really good or bad? It's possible that some decisions I perceived as bad at the time, led to a greater calling?
Looking back, I've left friendships for no good reason other than I tired of them and wanted to meet new people. It's sad but, as Metallica says, true.
I've left girlfriends that loved me for no other reason than I simply wasn't secure enough with myself to move forward in the relationship. Hurt them bad.
There's been plenty of times that I've been on the receiving end of losing a friend or lover. It makes me wonder if being hurt by others didn't influence some of the hurt I handed out?
These Blessings Take So Much Work
I may sit back back in wonder as I am right now from time to time. My younger self didn't treat my older self with much respect. Changing my mindset to a whole different perspective is something that took tremendously hard work.
Not just physically but also emotionally. It still takes work everyday not to slip back into doubt and fear. There's so much sometimes to be afraid of. My fears aren't as selfish as they used to be. Being responsible for other lives can do that to a person.
Think you've been afraid of things in life? Try having a kid or two or more. We never want to see them suffer due to our decision making. But the truth is, even as parents, we fail sometimes.
Isn't Life Fun?
You know, it sure can seem like life itself is out to kick your ass every day you open your eyes. I've learned to see that ass-kicking as an opportunity to move forward. Change sucks. It's scary. The hardest thing is learning it can be enjoyable and then just getting started.
I've taken some trembling first steps to get past all those bad decisions. The kind of steps you take in the dark without knowing if there's a landing. Honestly, it took more faith than I knew I had. Faith in strangers. Faith in simple good-will of men.
The hard work isn't always fun. I'm not sure I'd even call what I'm writing here right now very fun. It's necessary in a way that surpasses any frivolous kind of enjoyment.
Sharing Our Stories
Sharing is one of the keys to life. That's one thing I learned. If you don't, you deprive others of the fabric that binds us all together. You deprive yourself of it as well.
Sharing comes in many forms, but sharing our thoughts and our story has the ability to change another person's perspective. Even if it only plants a seed, all a seed needs is water. A little nourishment and it will grow.
It's easy to share a little cash or crypto. Giving a person a hand in the grocery store shouldn't be something we pat ourselves on the back for. But try sharing some part our story that we're ashamed of, and you won't many people raising their hands.
But why not? Isn't sharing what we perceive as our failures the only way to get a different viewpoint? How is anyone supposed to know if we need help when we keep it all bottled up?
Forgive, Forget, But Put A Hatchet In It
Many of my poor decisions can be attributed to exactly this. I didn't put a hatchet in it. I've let things keep me up at night. The path of bitterness and resentment took hold and I allowed it to steal that which is most precious. Time and health.
Stress never helped me. No one else cared that I lost sleep. Things left unresolved kept running through my mind. It still happens sometimes. I've learned to recognize it so much sooner so I can kick resentment out.
If the hatchet has to buried with someone else, I look only at my part. If there's something I did wrong, I try to make it right. It's easy to forget I have no control over anyone else. Only myself. I can change, but I can't make anyone else change. I can only try to be an example.
Thank goodness I made all those bad decisions. They forced me to learn and kicked my butt into working for the future. I guess they've prepared me for my next set of bad decisions.
Hope you enjoyed...thanks for reading...and as always..
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