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It's been a while since I've heard about this Hive community, and today, I've decided to dive in and become a part of Hive and its community. I'm using it as a chance to open up to the world in a way I never have before. Trust me, you'll get it soon 😉
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The Joker's portrait represents me; I identify with him and feel comfortable with it because everything goes beyond what is merely visible and has explanations, motives, or reasons that go further and not everyone is capable of understanding and comprehending.
For now, let me introduce myself as Kamikazce. Maybe, at some point, I'll shed the anonymity. Kamikazce has been my virtual alias for as long as I can remember, so I'm thrilled to share this space with all of you.
Originally, my plan was to start a personal blog (I've been a web developer since I was 15, now at 37... with a ton of experiences under my belt), but I've decided to make it happen here. From today onwards, this will be my personal diary. I'll share my daily life, both professional and personal, and you'll get to know everything about my past (including secrets) that has shaped me into who I am today. Not better, not worse, but different.
The weirdest part? I'm not a fan of people.
I could describe myself as someone who prefers solitude or the company of a very select few. It's rare for me to take a liking to someone. Initially, I don't like anyone... something has to change for you to move from being disliked to just okay in my book. I'm a closed book; nobody knows anything about me. Only a small circle of people, who can be counted on one hand, know me a bit and have my trust. For me, trust is the foundation of everything. If I don't trust you, I don't want you near.
To give you a little insight, as I mentioned, I'm 37, from Spain, with a family of my own, a wife, and two kids aged 5 and 9. I work as a web developer. You could say I lead a seemingly normal life. Many would say, "lucky you," because I have everything I ever wanted: a family, kids, a good car, a house, money... I lack nothing. Yet, if you ask me what I want now, I wouldn't know how to answer... I've always had everything I wanted and still do... but I'm not happy. I'm not enjoying life, not relishing time with my family, just watching the days go by with emotional ups and downs, which I'll gradually share.
Writing all this, and what I plan to do by sharing my life and opening up to the world, is a form of therapy for me. I feel the need to write (since I don't talk much, internalizing everything, whether good or bad... and there comes a point when your head is so filled with emotions, sensations, thoughts, ideas... that you don't know what to do.
I'm confident and hopeful that what I write will help someone. With each episode of my life, I hope you can draw the best conclusions, improve in some way, feel identified... honestly, it would make me happy if, in doing what I'm doing, I help someone in any way possible. Unlike in real life, where I start off not liking anyone, I believe that most of you here are different, special, not like the 99% of people who just follow the crowd and mimic each other, something I despise and why I can't stand people. If I didn't think it would be different here, I wouldn't be writing this, as I only speak where I feel comfortable and trusted.
Every day, I'll write at least one chapter of my life, plus my day-to-day experiences, turning this blog into a reflection of me. 🤝😘