So in my last update, we did look into the insights of both self-esteem and low self-esteem. Nathaniel Branden crediting low self-esteem as maybe the mine cause of illness of the mind; depression, anxiety, and insecurities.
Branden saw low self-esteem as intense fear, which in order for one to face and overcome there are inner pillars which one must cultivate, for the successful process of replacing the fear with the love of self and existence in general.
In this update, let's take a look at the said foundations upon which genuine self-esteem is built. Through the cultivation and infusion of the pillars, into one's way of life, one will start developing positive self-esteem.
And according to Branden, begin moving towards the ultimate goal of human existence, that of "HonoringThe Self."
The Will To Understand
The first pillar, The will to understand, Branden referred to as the:
Central pillar of positive self-esteem
Nathaniel Branden
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The pillar involves one choosing to commit to always seeking knowledge over ignorance and the truth over fiction. What is worth noting though is that it is quite difficult remaining faithful to this pillar, truths especially unflattering truths about our self, existence or others can cause anxiety, discomfort and even in some cases intense fear.
The thing about truths is that they lead one to realizations which shatter one's world view. This fact leads many to choose consciously or subconsciously, to remain ignorant about aspects of themselves and the world in general.
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For anyone committed to developing positive self-esteem, one must avoid this unfaithfulness to the truth in the service of comfort. One must follow the truth no matter where it leads, for even though it can stimulate anxiety and fear, in the end, greater awareness will always lead to personal growth. Quoting Branden:
Any time we admit a difficult truth, any time we face that which we have been afraid to face, any time we acknowledge, to ourselves or to others, facts the existence of which we have been evading, any time we are willing to tolerate temporary fear or anxiety on the path to better contact with reality, our self-esteem increases.
Nathaniel Branden
The Will To Think Independently
Source
In order for one to remain committed to the truth, it requires that one develops another pillar of self-esteem, the will to think independently.
While seeking truth, one will inevitably be forced to free themselves from the group-think mentality which apparently has control over the minds of others.
One is forced to critically analyze the commonly held beliefs and practices and in the process develop a new worldview, one based on own conclusions.
The process itself can elicit anxiety making us all too aware of our "inescapable aloneness" - the fact is that we all are separate and unique individuals, who are solely responsible for owns life.
A Commitment To Self-Responsibility
The above leads to the development of the third pillar, a commitment to self-responsibility.
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The pillar has two sides to it, firstly, one must understand and accept the fact that nobody is here to solve our problems or save us, and secondly that:
we are not here on earth to live up to someone else's expectations
Nathaniel Branden
Realization of both facts can be difficult but if successful, it can be liberating, leading in a transformation of our way of life, where we are more in tune with our individuality and uniqueness.
The Will To Be Efficacious
The final pillar being the will to be efficacious, which according to Nathaniel Branden is:
the refusal of human consciousness to accept helplessness as its permanent and unalterable condition.
Nathaniel Branden
Source
As we all are aware, it is inevitable that there will always be periods of failure and struggles in our lives.
With low self-esteem, one chooses to respond to these times by accepting defeat, lying down, and concluding that we will never succeed or be fulfilled.
While with high self-esteem, we won't be defeated by these dark moments but instead strengthened. We will use times of struggle as fuel to kindle our burning desire for success, and in the process strengthen our resolve to ensure we don't fall down quite so hard the next time we're dealt a heavy blow.
The will to be efficacious—here was a concept that helped me explain something I had observed in my clients and students, the principle to help me understand the difference between those who felt fundamentally defeated by life and those who did not.
Nathaniel Branden
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