I used to be a strong believer in the phrase, “you cannot give from an empty jar”. Even though the meaning of this could be subjective, based on my definition of it, I realized that sometimes, even when you seem empty and everything looks blurry, you can still stand up to help others.
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It’s been two weeks since I got two heart wrenching rejections back-to-back. I had just returned from my friend’s wedding, and I was so hopeful that I would return home to a letter of congratulations.
I had put my all into preparing the best essay possible, sent it out to my mentors for proofreading, made sure all documents I submitted were neatly scanned, crossed my Ts and dotted my Is, yet the rejections came in at ten minutes interval, and it felt like I had been punched heavily on my chest.
I logged off mentally, emotionally, and physically. I locked myself indoor and started sad sleeping. I was so angry, frustrated, and sad all at the same time. I couldn’t even cry because I was trying to understand the gush of emotions going through me all at a time.
The day was a Friday. I had hoped that I would wake up on Saturday and be all back to myself but deceived have I felt. My emotions completely betrayed me. I was so drained in all the feelings you can think of.
While I laid helpless on my bed staring at the concreted ceiling, I heard a soft knock on my door. Reluctantly, I got up to see who was at the door. I wanted to just pretend to be asleep, but I couldn’t hold myself back, so I opened the door for her to come in. it was my neighbour whom I had earlier blocked her number from contacting me because “I was avoiding trouble”.
She came in and said, “please, help me. I have been cheated. My daughter has been messed with”.
At first, I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I had to postpone my mourning. I had to postpone whatever I was feeling at the time and help this woman out of helplessness even though I was empty myself.
I really wished at that spot that I could find a way for both of us to resolve our issues and it would be a win situation for us both, but I just couldn’t. So, I found strength to tell her, “I’ll try my best”.
She left in hopes that I really would try my best even though I only said that to calm her at that moment, but then, I was empty at the time. I couldn’t even think a way forward for myself. I didn’t know what next to do, where to send my applications to next, what tutorial should I watch next or where exactly I should go, but I had to pend that and instead, I found a way to help her.
Sometimes, life tests us so much that we won’t realize how much we can give even out of our vulnerability and helplessness.
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This is the second time this is happening to me, and it’s why I’m writing this. Just because you think you are empty does not mean that you are. The little drop of liquid at the base of your jar may not quench your thirst, but it could be the only thing that someone else needs to live.