Guess what?? Yep… I’m officially losing my mind. Again. Nothing new here, but I’ve decided it’s probably safer if I don’t go outside and talk to people today. 😂
Why, you ask? Because I’m tired. Not just tired—soul tired. And my emotions? Oh boy… they’re doing the cha-cha in my head. 😅 Every woman knows exactly what I mean.
So, yesterday, after work, I’m lying on the sofa, half-alive, watching TV, not really sure what to do with myself… when suddenly, my husband walks in with his sweetest, most angelic voice:
“Baby… maybe you should go for a bike ride? Or a little run? Could be good for you…”
😳
I looked at him. He looked at me. And in that exact second…he knew.
He messed up. BAD.
The man literally turned around and slowly backed out of the room like a scared raccoon. Smart move, my guy. 😂
He left me alone for a few minutes, probably thinking, She’ll calm down. She’ll smile. Maybe even say, 'Oh honey, you’re right! I’d love to ride my bike after working 12 hours with cramps that feel like a demon is trying to escape my stomach!'
HA. Dream on.
Let’s be real….we don’t live in a fantasy world.
So I opened my fitness app (yes, the one I mostly use to count steps and pretend I’m sporty), took some screenshots of my activity, and waited.
I do yoga every morning! I walk like crazy at work! I’m out here surviving!
When he came back into the room—very carefully, like he was entering a lion's cage—I hit him with the facts:
“I do yoga. I walk all day at work. And now, when I’m half-dead, you think running or biking is a great idea?!” 😤
And you know what he said?
“Yeah, but… you can’t count your work steps as real working out.”
EXCUSE ME?!?
No no no, sir. Let me tell you the only correct response when your wife is dying on the couch:
“Do you want popcorn? A massage? Tea?”
That’s it. End of list. 🙃
He started laughing like a man who clearly wanted to die that day, but then he saw my eyes again—THE LOOK—and shut up real fast. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back…
…with a warm bowl of popcorn. 🍿
Atta boy. 😂😂
I just looked at him and said, “See? That wasn’t hard! Was this little war necessary? You’ve known me for years and still want to test the system!” 😂
Anyway, I was happy, eating popcorn, watching a movie, and not saying a single word more. Peace has returned. 😂
So, a little advice for the boys:
If your lady is having those days… don’t suggest a jog. Don’t talk about exercise. Just bring snacks, give hugs, nod your head, and say, “Yes, baby.”
Trust me—you’ll live longer. 😂
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." —Rita Rudner
With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️