Finally, it’s over. I was nervous for almost a month, knowing what was coming. Last week was routine checks with CT and MRI, and this week was the grand finale, a colonoscopy. First off, a lot of people don’t like talking about this kind of exam, but for me, it’s no big deal anymore. At first, it was awkward, but now, who cares? It’s my body, my health, and I’m not ashamed of it.
Let me explain what a colonoscopy really is. Before my first one, I had no clue what to expect, so I wasn’t scared. But oh boy.
A colonoscopy is like sending a tiny camera on an adventure through your large intestine. Picture your doctor as an explorer, navigating the winding, mysterious tunnels of your colon with a long, flexible tube called a colonoscope. This gadget has a camera on the end, so the doctor can see your colon’s insides on a TV screen.
On the day of the procedure, you get some chill meds that make you feel like you're floating on a cloud. While you snooze happily, the doctor guides the camera through your colon, looking for any hidden surprises like polyps (small growths) or signs of trouble. When you wake up, you might feel a bit groggy, but otherwise fine.
Before this big adventure starts, you need to do some special prep. Think of it as drinking a magical potion that cleans out your colon until it's squeaky clean. This part, I hate with all my heart. So, you get a powder called MOVIPREP and mix it into two liters of laxative drink. The day before your exam, around 5 or 6 p.m., you start drinking 1.5 liters of this stuff within two hours. Gulping it down a glass at a time works best, and using a straw can make it easier. It’s better if the drink is cool but not too cold. To make it taste a bit better, you can add clear fruit juice or multivitamin tablets. Because of this, I can't drink my favorite blueberry juice anymore. I mixed it with the prep powder, and now I can't even look at it without feeling sick. It's banned from my apartment. I'm sad about it, but I’d probably vomit if I tried it again. You also need to drink extra clear liquids to help with the rinsing effect—more is better. Trust me, the drink is pretty gross, and you’ll probably end up chugging 3 or 4 liters of water or juice too.
Stay close to a toilet, because this magical potion works fast and has a strong laxative effect!
On the day of the exam, early in the morning (up to 2.5 hours before the exam), you need to drink the remaining 0.5 liters of MOVIPREP. You can have clear drinks, tea, or coffee with it.
You can have your last solid meal 24 hours before the colonoscopy, so make it count! But starting three days before, say goodbye to raw veggies, fruits with red skins, and anything with seeds. Whole grain flour and seeds are also off the menu. Basically, if it’s healthy and you love it, it’s probably banned.
The first time I had this examination, I had no idea what was coming. I thought I’d get some painkillers. Nope, nothing. The next time, I asked if they could give me something, but they said I was too late and should have asked a week earlier. Pretty please? But no one told me I even had that option the first time. Fantastic. I won’t even describe how much it hurt. I still can’t decide if the gastroscopy (where you swallow the cable) or the colonoscopy is worse. Both are awful without painkillers.
In Austria, though, it was a whole different story. My first exam there included both a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy, so they gave me anesthesia. Waking up and hearing that it was all done, pain-free, was the best. This time, it was just a colonoscopy, and instead of anesthesia, they gave me a sedative and something else in my vein so I couldn’t feel the lower half of my body. Interesting sensation, I must say. And again, no pain. During the exam, I chatted with the doctor and watched the cable navigate my intestines on the screen. It was like a live reality show inside me!
So now it’s behind me. I’m done for this year. I have no issues with the examination itself because I don’t feel any pain; the worst part is still the prep, this disgusting liquid is the worst thing I have to go through. Now, I just wait for the results.
And I can’t believe it, but I forgot to take a picture of the powder. I guess I just wanted it to be over soon.
I had my checkup on Thursday. I didn't leave my apartment yesterday. It’s been a long time since I turned off my phone, but I needed some time for myself. My relaxation yesterday? I read a book and listened to music all day. And today, I have enough energy again, so yes, we are going to Slovenia.
Have a nice weekend, guys! I sure will 😊
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️