Feeling like you're not doing enough for yourself is a common phenomenon. It's a nagging sense of dissatisfaction, a feeling that you're not reaching your full potential or making progress towards your goals.
It sometimes comes when a set target you couldn't reach, but you see everybody around you, making it easily, and you are wondering. What's wrong with me? Why does it have to always be me? Why can't I be as successful as my friends? What I'm doing wrong. The last question you must have asked yourself after all this,why and what, is will I ever make it in this life
We humans are unsatisfied; no matter how much money we have in our bank account, it won't ever be enough for us. Although this kind of feeling of not being enough can stem from various sources when we set the bar too high, we want to drive a car at twenty cause all our friends are doing that, build a house before thirty years, therefore mounting unnecessary pressure on ourselves.
Comparing ourselves with our friends who might be getting financial assistance from their parents and you who are just a hustler will feel to be them. The moment you start comparing yourself to them. You won't feel enough for yourself. When it seems as if age is not on your side again and you haven't achieved or accomplished the thing you wish for, the same feeling starts creeping in. When you start doubting your worth and clamoring for perfection, not doing enough comes in.
I remember when, after graduating from school, I went for service and hoped to get a good job or start up a business and then expected the business to blow up; you will start living large. Little did I and some of my friends, and now life is not Hollywood.
After school, my friend, the female, got married the same year as they had planned, and I was left alone. At first, I felt like I was not good enough or was doing something wrong. So I decided to stick in the relationship I wasn't happy inside because I wanted to settle down like them. Instead of getting better, my situation was getting worse.
Then, to crown it all, one of my friends got a big job in an oil company, and the other was struggling financially with her husband that she started selling mama put(roadside food vendor). I didn't know all this but I keep feeling unwanted and unhappy cause I set a very high goal for myself. The other one was preparing to leave the country with her husband. Everything was moving fine with them, so I taught.
I became depressed, I didn't have a job, and I wasn't happy in my relationship. I sat down one night and wept as if the whole burden of the world was on my shoulder. Business wasn't moving fine, and I couldn't get a job. There was rent no pay; bills were just piling up. I felt overwhelmed by everything like I wasn't doing enough
I wept that day when my cousin caught me and insisted I tell her what the problem was; I did. That's when she told me everything two of my friends were going through, and they were hiding it. I asked how she knew about it. Their siblings told her because they wanted her to talk to me to help their sister out, especially the one who was going through domestic violence.
After all this, I sat down and advised myself. I look back at the little things I have been able to achieve without my parent's help, and I have never really lacked anything, just that it hasn't hit as big as I wanted it. I have to start appreciating myself, break out of the toxic relationship, and regain my confidence.
It is not bad to feel you are not doing enough, but remember you are the best the world has ever seen.
All images are Ai generated
Here is the link to the prompt@nwothini335/clean-planet-biweekly-contest-round-14-results-round-15-not-enough-b6f
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