This entry was inspired by the #inleocommunity and my response to day 22 if the #februaryinleo.
Yes, I certainly do feel that way sometimes. It is a feeling that I get when I am sitting around thinking about all of the things that I want to do but have not done yet. I believe that many people feel this way as well. It is normal, but it is not a good feeling. It makes me question myself, and sometimes, it makes me depressed.
There are days when I wake up with so much planning. I say to myself, "Today, I am going to get this work done, I am going to call that someone, I am going to initiate that project." And then towards the end of the day, I am realizing that I haven't done all that I had planned to do. Perhaps I was too exhausted. Perhaps something cropped up. Perhaps I just could not push myself hard enough. And then I begin to feel as though I am not getting anything done. I say to myself, "Am I lazy? Am I simply wasting my time? Should I be trying harder?
Images are mine.
I could remember this once when I had too much to do both at home and at work. I had to finish up my lesson note before Friday and every teacher knows that it's not easy to write lesson note, attend to your pupils or students and also attend to family at home . By the time I went to bed, I was spent. Yet rather than being content with all that I had accomplished, I felt as though I had not done enough. Perhaps I could have been more productive. Perhaps I could have accomplished more.
Perhaps I ought to have stayed longer with the family.
The thoughts kept on coming, and they made me feel guilty. One day, I saw on the internet that a friend was doing something amazing. She had launched a business and was successful. I was thrilled for her, and then my mind got the better of me and I thought, "What about me? Am I doing enough? Am I supposed to be doing more?" Despite knowing I was working in my own way, I still felt as if I wasn't stacking up. However, I have realized something important. We are humans, and we can only do as much as we can. There is always something that is going to be left behind. There is always someone else who is always doing more. But it does not amount to failure on our side. It does not make us any less. Life is never a competition. We all run our own course. Some days we will get lots done. Some days, we will be able to manage only the basics.
And that is alright. Now, whenever I am feeling I am not doing enough, I remind myself of all that which I have accomplished so far. I remind myself that I am doing my best. I remind myself that I am not a machine. I need to rest. I need to take care of myself as well. In place of guilt, I opt to be kind to myself. I opt to feel that I am sufficient, and what I undertake is sufficient. And I believe everyone must believe that as well.