In the wake of January 1st 2022, Lilian met Mother crying. "What on earth would make this woman cry on a new year"? She asked. Looking at me, she said: "This woman is supposed to be thanking God and giving him praise for another year"!
Upon coming to Mother, Lilian found that Mother has been crying over Daddy that died some 12years ago. "What? Not again". She lamented.
Papa left us after a brief illness twelve years ago. Inshort, he gave me out for marriage and in less than two years, he was gone. He didn't have the opportunity to play with my kids, he didn't have the opportunity to eat from me, one of the fruits of his labour. But death took him away.
I was his favorite child, or let's say one of his favorites. He had no sister, and all his elder brothers who had female children lost those females a few days after birth. I came and stayed as his Sister and daughter. He loved me expressly and cared for me. All my siblings and I loved him and viewed him as the best father in the whole world. But now he is gone.
I spent four years mourning him. Sometimes when my husband asks me why I am crying, he finds it hard to believe it was because of my father. He felt I should have healed after such a long time. Till date I still remember him and speak of him. I hope that one day, we will be together in paradise. That's my christian belief.
But it's 12yrs now and Mother is still weeping over him. Rather than hold her and reassure her, Lilian scolded Mother saying; "Dad is dead and long gone. It's been 12 years, are you still crying? You need to move on. I think this is self pity and it's uncalled for".
It was at this point, I scolded Lilian. How could she say that to a depressed soul? I drew Mother near and held her.
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I told her God has been good, keeping us all alive. I reassured her that we are here and won't let her suffer. I also told her to count other ways God has blessed her and that she should hold on to her faith, one day Daddy will rise again.
Well, no one knows what Mother is going through emotionally but I had to challenge Lilian. How dare she say that is self pity? The old woman is going through pain and probably thinks this is another year, is she still going to run the year all by herself again? Her children are all at home for the holiday with her grandchildren but soon we will all leave again. All the goodies we brought home, how many of them is she going to eat all alone? Besides, this woman struggled to raise us with Daddy, her husband who is no longer with her.
Lilian though made a point that she doesn't want Mother to suffer from eye problems later due to many tears she has shed, nor develop illness at old age that might make her unable to enjoy some meals or even begin to spend the money sent to her on medications. That notwithstanding, she shouldn't get frontal with someone broken at heart. Mother is 65 years of age, I don't know much but I know that she obviously is not longing for Daddy because of sex, she surely missed him. I do too, we all do.
I just pray God looks after her and keeps her safe for us. Worse off, she hardly travels. She just wants to stay in her husband's house most times. If she was someone who loves travelling, visiting all six children one after the other would help sometimes. She has also refused to get a maid, she claims she doesn't know what killed Daddy and doesn't trust that a maid might not be used again to harm her.
Well, someday soon, I will go and get her to live with me. She needs company. I have to hurry to bring her and take good care of her before she gets too old.
I love my Mother, she is all I've got.
How about you? What's your best way to deal with a situation like this? How do you console a broken soul?
Thanks for the visit, I adore you.