I put off going to therapy for a very long time. I just didn’t ‘feel’ like it. Yesterday I had the realization that me being the way I have been for so long, is due to all the trauma I have experienced and was a direct response to all of that.
I wasn’t a normal human being.
I couldn’t work five days a week.
Doing too many things in a week overwhelmed me.
Being hyper sensitive to situations and people.
It just felt like I didn’t function properly in society.
Like there was something wrong with me.
But that’s not the case.
I have been processing a lot of stuff for the past decade whilst the stuff kept piling on and I was drowning in it.
No wonder I didn’t feel like I can be a normal person.
Because my mind and system was constantly in overdrive but I didn’t see it.
And now that I have had six months of therapy, I see it.
I am in the deep process of accepting all that has happened and returning back to myself, albeit it is slowly.
It’s funny because the same way the depression crept into my life, the ‘me’ is seeping in slowly too.
Like I’ve noticed I want to dress better and wear nice clothes every day.
Picture taken by one of fave people on the planet last week while we were getting coffee. This is my fave dress!
The old me was quite content wearing the same clothes over and over again.
Or like how I started painting my nails again.
Just tiny acts of self love that are showing me I am on the road to recovering myself.
And it feels good.
I am in no way ‘there’ yet but I am doing so much better than I thought was possible in such a short time.
Therapy can do wonders!
Over and out,
Ashley
Ps. Question Of The Week will be coming out tomorrow because I am off to see my bestie right now!