A number of friends had read and recommended Atomic Habits by James Clear as a book that changed their lives - helping them to clear their mind and focus on what's important. At its core, it is a book about forming good habits and breaking bad ones.
A book summary wouldn't do it justice, I feel. You just have to read it for yourself. Having said that, I want to focus on a couple of key takeaways I had from reading the book.
"Practice self-restraint not by wishing you were a more disciplined person, but by creating a more disciplined environment."
Ever had one of those days where you set out to do something but ended up getting distracted? Or how about starting a diet but ending up gorging on snacks like potato chips?
Rather than blaming your willpower, or lack thereof, perhaps it would better to get rid of the distractions instead. The distraction could be video games, booze, or even bad company. Get rid of it.
If you were to remove even a single cue, oftentimes, the habit fades away.
"Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have."
If you join a group or culture where your desired behavior is normal, then it a lot more likely that you will succeed in having these desired behaviors.
I've heard similar versions of this before:
- Your life will resemble those of your 5 closest friends
- Unhealthy eating habits tend to run in families
Even good old Napoleon Hill had a similar advice from more than 70 years ago in his book, Think and Grow Rich, about choosing to associate with those who already have what you desire.
"It’s easy to train when you feel good, but it’s crucial to show up when you don’t feel like it - even if you do less than you hope."
So what should you do on the off days? He talks about how missing a day every now and then is fine. Don't make it two days, because that's the start of another habit.
Too often, we get stuck in all-or-nothing cycles when it comes to our habits. This is a pitfall that can derail our habits. Let's say we're having an off day and we only go to the gym for five minutes?
Does it do anything for our fitness or physique? Probably not. But what it helps to do is reaffirm our identity and commitment to fitness and that keeps our habit going.
Anyway, these are some of the interesting points that I got from the book. There's lots more in there like how to actually form good habits and get rid of bad ones.
If you're not keen on buying the book, his website gives you a good summary on the habit-forming technique for free: https://jamesclear.com/habits