Like some of the contest I have read earlier at the pob-wotw #007 by @calumam, equanimity has been described as the state of being mentally and emotionally stable even while one is under high level of tension and strain.
On the other hand, lack of equanimity is a state of being worried, bordered or having excessive care for things, people or a particular situation especially while they don't seem as they are meant to be.
I lost my dad eight years ago. Some times when I think about the fateful day, it occurs to me that his death could have easily been averted.
My father was a caring man. He fathered five girls and one boy, he was never misogynistic, he made sure that all his children gets good education as convenient as possible, even though he had to work harder or borrow money to make things convenient some times .
I could vividly remember some years back, while I was younger and one of my elder sisters was about to put to bed. My father could not even go home from the hospital, he could not sleep either, he prayed over night till the baby was delivered.
I could also remember years back, while I was a child. One evening after eating, I held on to the bone attached to the meat I was given, and was walking around. While I wanted to go outside the sitting room, the door shut right before me, I dropped the bone in shock.
Hearing the sound of the bone on the floor, my father jumped up from his seated position and ran over to me, checking my fingers, he was scared, thinking that the door shut at my fingers. This was the level at which my father cared.
He cares a lot about everything, his family, his job, neighbors, present situations, and so on. Having this character is actually a good thing, but you would agree with me that, everything that has positive effects also has negative effects.
Dad worries about almost everything that doesn't seem right. Over time he developed high blood pressure which later turned to cardiac arrest. He got an hospital card and started to treat himself. Although once in a while he finds it difficult to breath but with his medications, he was able to sustain himself till the unforgettable day he passed away.
31st of October, 2013. I was 17 years old, a secondary school student. When I came back from school that fateful evening, my father was full of live as usual, jesting with mother and people around. I greeted him and went inside. After eating that evening, dad and mum stayed in the sitting room jesting and discussing while I sat outside. I entered around 9:30pm while my parents where about going to sleep, my father told me to ensure all doors are locked. By this time I could still hear his voice loud and clear.
Five minutes later, he rushed out of his room breathing so hard that I could hear him from a distance. He took his car key and asked me to open the gates. By this time I could hardly hear his voice.
Mum was trying to calm him while she looked for his hospital card, but due to the pains he was going through, he wanted to rush down to the hospital, he lost his equanimity completely. I could not drive by then.
I had earlier told him to teach me how to drive but he didn't, he always said that I was too young, and younger people often get themselves killed by over speeding.
I opened the gate and he drove off speeding through the rough roads leading out of our street. He couldn't move for long before he lost his life, bumping into the potholes on his way to the hospital. It was a sorrowful night, full of agony and distress. No one could sleep on hearing the news.
Years later, I learned about the term cardiopulmonary treatment whereby a cardiac arrest patient is asked to lay on the ground, and someone keeps pushing down on his chest to ensure proper breathing.
Mum wanted to try this while she was calming him, but he did not wait. He probably wouldn't have died that night.
May his soul rest on
Thank you reading through.