I have discovered that many marriages today gets dissolved due to reason that can be ironed out when there is effective communication.
Earlier today, I attended a program for couples. While I was there listening to everyone that was asking and answering questions, I discovered that truly, no home is perfect, and almost every marriage experience the same problem.
There are challenges I experience in my home which make me feel bad and unhappy and sometimes regret that I got married. I got to understand that other families experience the same thing too. When I'm experiencing challenges, I always feel like it only happening in my home, whereas, it is not.
A question was asked during the program. Before the question was asked, some women had already complained about the fact that ever since they officially got married to their spouse, the level of communication dropped.
The man who stood up to ask a question went ahead to say that, he has done several pluses and minuses in other to understand the reason why that ability disappears when a marriage has been appropriated.
I know that a lot of couples here would be able to relate to this. When couples are still courting, the love at that time is still on fire. During that period, you make sure to call your partner every minute, you just want to hear the voice of your partner, you create time to discuss things with each other, you always want to be in touch as possible as you can however when you are married, those things stops.
Why does it happen that way?
I feel that this happens because the couple now live together and they see each other all the time and that's why it looks like there is nothing to look forward to. During the courting period, you weren't living together with your spouse and that was why it almost seemed as if you can't do without speaking with your spouse.
Communication in any relationship, in general, is very important because it is what will sustain the relationship. For instance, a user gets onboarded on the platform and had been doing his/her best to make to gain visibility and engagements on the platform. However, after some time, the user notices that he/she isn't getting any feedback on articles that they may have published and isn't getting anything as a means of encouragement, with time, you will notice that the person will become inactive because they feel that their presence isn't valued. However, if the opposite is the case, you will notice that the person will be motivated to publish more interesting articles that make sense.
In summary about the topic on communication, it is understandable that couples may not be able to chat and call each other like the courting period because they now live together. One thing that can't be ruled out is that couples must always create time to communicate when there is a need to. If we are to ask alike, how many hours in a day is the right hour for couples to communicate, the answer would be that there is no specific number of hours but couples need to make sure that when there is a need to communicate, they create the time to do so.
Cottonbro
What kills communication in a relationship?
Assumption.
Here is an example, a man closed from his place of work and on his way going home, he remembered that Valentine is around the corner so he decided to surprise his wife. What he planned was to call the wife to know if she was out of the office already so he would let her know where she is to come to meet him. His plan all along was to take her out to a place she can enjoy herself and have fun also to get a feel of valentine with her spouse.
Unfortunately, when he called her and asked her where she was, she replied angrily asking her husband why he is monitoring her, and with a loud angry voice, told him to go home and not wait for her anywhere.
The woman assumed that her husband was monitoring her, she assumed something else when her husband only meant well, he only wanted to surprise her but unfortunately, that happened and the mood for the surprise got ruined.
There are many examples of this and the only way one can deal with this is to always give a benefit of the doubt because you may be wrong.
When a home lacks good communication, there tends to be trouble all-time in that home, peace would be nowhere to be found.
Manner of approach.
Speaking about this, I will give an example with the word 'please'.
Imagine that you need a pen from some close to where you're sitting, then you go to the person and calmly say "please lend me your pen". Now that's a good approach. The person would gladly lend you the pen. Imagine another scenario where you just walk up to the place and with an ill-mannered approach, you say to the person " PLEASE LEND ME YOUR PEN".
you ask in such a manner, the person will look at you disgustingly and would wonder what gave you the effrontery to speak to him/her like that. If you noticed, the same word PLEASE was used, one was used appropriately and the other inappropriately.
Someone complained about their spouse being completely engrossed with their phone during the period they were trying to have a serious conversation. Now the wife was already getting furious because her husband wasn't paying attention.
Two things are likely to happen in a scenario like that. It's either the wife angrily saying something like "what is the meaning of this, I've been trying to have a conversation with you but you won't pay attention, you are just engrossed with your phone". The moment the woman sounds like this, it will not only make the man feel insulted, he would also lose interest in whatever the conversation was about and this, in turn, chased peace away from the house.
The other thing that can happen in a situation like that is when the wife calmly moves closer to her husband and probably wrap her arms around him then politely and romantically tell her husband to drop his phone so they can have an important discussion. By doing this, a man in his right mind would listen and postponed that which he might have been doing on his phone so he can listen to his wife. By doing this, there would be peace.
A man who has been married for 2years suddenly feels like he made a mistake getting married to his wife.
Here's what happened; this man works from home, which means he is always at home and the wife always sees him in the house.
According to the man he is the kind of person who puts his earphones on while he is working just to avoid distractions and all, he is also the type of person who doesn't like to talk much but believes in action. His wife however love to have mixed words with action, even though it means repeating one thing a hundred times, she just wants to make sure that she is getting that attention from her husband, the fact that they newly got married and are not behaving like newly wedded couples makes the wife feel frustrated. In a simple sentence, the man is used to his bachelor lifestyle of having his space when he is working at home, while the wife who understands that her husband works from home still needs his attention.
In a situation like this, the best way to make peace reign is by striking a balance. The man has to shift and the woman has to shift to make sure that they can accommodate each other's needs.
The goal of every couple is to be able to enjoy peace in their home and this can be achieved by maintaining effective communication.
Also published here
Thanks for reading.
13-02-2022 ✅