I've spoken about reality-bending in several posts now, and the topic is kind of a far-out concept to many. It's mostly a game of reality interpretation that you play inside your head. Much of the time, when things happen in this world, we will quietly and inaccurately interpret any given event or nonevent. We do this automatically, and for the most part unconsciously, to add to the narrative that is our life story.
But why are we doing it inaccurately? We do it inaccurately because we can only get a solid grasp of our subjective perspective, which isn't necessarily, objective reality. So, imagine two parties communicating with each other, and let's say there is a verbal fight or a falling out of sorts. It means that each person will walk away with a unique interpretation of whatever transpired.
Perhaps one of the individuals is like, "Whew, so-and-so may be having a bad day; I had probably better give them some space." Then maybe the other person says to themself: "So-and-so hates me because of this, this, and that, and I'll never speak to them again!" In this example, the first person uses a "may" and a "be" (or maybe), which gives them lots of room in the defining reality department.
Contrarily, the second person has done some negative mind-reading. They applied this to not only the situation but also the individual. In case you are unfamiliar, mind-reading, in this case, is a cognitive distortion. Many of us would like to fancy that we can mind read, and at times we all successfully do it, to one degree or another. However, we should not become delusional and pretend that we always know what someone else is thinking.
To illustrate some of the dangers in the above example, let us suppose that the person was having a bad day, and they didn't even realize it themselves, so they took it out on their friends, family members, etc. Because one party left the doors of perception open, it gives one or the other room to make good. Whereas if both doors are closed, these two friends or family may never speak to each other again.
The long and the short of it is, we are all imperfect beings, and we probably ought not to be so quick as to levy judgments on those we love. Or, for that matter, people that we hardly know. That's not to say one should randomly go about putting blind trust in folks, as that wouldn't be wise either. However, if you want to bring out the best in others, looking for the worst will sometimes only serve to manifest the worst.
I cannot stress enough how many times reality will serve you exactly what you are looking to find. If you think that people are evil and everyone only looks out for themselves--it means that every time you see someone doing something in their best interest, instead of seeing responsibility, you will observe greed. Instead of seeing a loving man who has a family he is providing for, you will see a wallet-shaped heart, hookers, and blow.
You could be right. But are you right, and should you have made the assumption? Here is what I've noticed about "judgments" and the "isness" of reality. Humanity is a flux. For the most part, we go through the journey of all emotional states. Just try and name a feeling you haven't felt and tell me what it was like living your whole life, having not had those feels? There's a good chance that you can't do that because you've had all the emotions, just like most everyone else has.
When I speak to reality-bending, it's a gift you can give to yourself, and people don't even have to know that you are doing it. All too often, we will define events quietly and to ourselves, and nobody is the wiser. The way we define the various things serves to modulate our heart, will, and emotions.
When you divide your mind against another human being, you invent an adversary where there may not have been one. Now there is controversy; I mean, it's not your fault that so-and-so doesn't like "horror movies," and so, therefore, they "suck" as an individual. Essentially, people have mastered the art of imposing frivolous judgments upon others.
However, we do not realize how we damage our heart, will, and mood when we do this. I'm sure you've heard of the tried and true strategy that is divide and conquer. Divide and conquer is what we do to ourselves when we impose frivolous judgments upon others. What we do, is set people up in opposition to ourselves.
Jane likes the color red. John likes the color blue. Therefore, John is a better person than Jane, and I realize this is an absurd example because most people aren't doing this. However, you'd be surprised at how many ways people tend to divide themselves based on their judgments. That's not to say that all judging is wrong, but many times, it's inconsequential or even meritless.
That said, the more often we withhold inconsequential or even meritless judgments of others, the less divided we are. Being less divided is good for one's heart, will, and mood. If your heart, will, or attitude gets divided against a person, then things and stuff can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I realize that all of the above got a little long in the tooth for the video I wanted to present today, but I shall share it nonetheless because I think this is a prime example of what reality-bending is not. For whatever reason, there is a trend lately where people want to go against what I will call "consensus reality" and force their delusions upon others.
Somewhere, in some doctor's office in Bumfuck, Idaho, a man asks his health professional to examine his non-existent vagina for gynecological purposes. And this is a perfect example of what reality-bending is not. It is not trying to force others to go against "consensus reality" when the facts and evidence do not support your cause.
Reality-bending is a tool. One whereby you actively choose to define events in such a way where you are not creating adversaries or dividing yourself against the "other." The more "others" you make in your mind, the more alone and unjustly paranoid you will become. What I've described is almost the pinnacle of how people self-sabotage.
So, I will leave you with this video of Paul Watson. He highlights the absurdity of an individual trying to get others to bend to his "new" ethnic reality. Yes, this man was born as a Caucasian Londoner, but now he is ethnically and genetically identifying as Korean because he's a big K-Pop fanatic. Before I even post the video, I should say this; I have nothing against "cultural appropriation."
I think cultural appreciation/appropriation is the fastest way to spread good, diverse, and helpful ideas. And there are downsides too, sometimes harmful elements of culture can get appropriated, and it can promote the negative aspects of a culture.
In this case, it's neither good per se or harmful, just a bit silly. Brother, you can be white and like K-Pop. It's not a big deal. Sheeeeeiiiite, learn to speak Korean if it appeals so much. But this, my god, this is something you did not have to do, but here's the thing, I'm not going to knock him for this because there are many Koreans who will get blepharoplasty eye surgery this year to get rounder looking eyes. And perhaps some of these good people will go on to become Londoners themselves.
I think that many do this because of early programming. For whatever reason; Manhwa, (the Korean version of Manga comics and cartoons) often portrays main characters with monolid eyes. So, in both cases, you have life imitating art, whether it be the K-Pop guy who wants almond-shaped eyes or Manhwa fans that want rounder-looking eyes. Let him be what he is, people, and for goodness' sake, enjoy the ride!
I'd say that one of the single biggest reasons not to create unmeritorious divides against other people, especially strangers that you'll never meet, on topics that are of little importance, is that it makes an "other." These others we invent end up occupying consciousness and soak up our precious awareness mana.
I just put the above man in your head along with that song. It'll be up to you if you can let either go or if you will allow him to set up camp and live rent-free. Guy thinks he's Korean. It's odd but amusing too. I have no ill will towards him. (ツ)_/¯
It doesn't make me happy or sad, I mean, I kind of feel bad for him that he thinks he needs to alter his appearance to rightfully appropriate Korean Pop but most people won't have this problem, so it's whatever. It doesn't compare to the perpetual state of warfare that humankind is doing to one another daily. But how can we fight that? By healing divides, by healing divides one mind at a time!
What say you, do you have any thoughts or ideas on this topic? Would you at some point like to see a (Part II) on Advanced Reality Bending and how it can enhance your experience as you are "being human?" Lettuce know in the comments below!