Classic reptilian neck poof. ↑The following is a little something I call comspiracy. Comspiracy is a combination of comedy and conspiracy. What you do is you take a critical look at what may or may not be a criminal conspiracy and then poke fun at how ludicrous the whole thing is by interjecting a little bit of crazy and a lot of bit of snark.
I present to you THE COMSPIRACY OF A LIFETIME because if you get deceived, you've effectively replaced your God-or-nature-given immune system in exchange for Finezhir's Microshaft-like subscription-based "immune system," which may or may not cull you softly or quickly.
Before watching the main video below, I'd like to present you with this evidence that should stick to your mind as scotch tape does to a cat's paws. You can try with all your might to shake it off, but eventually, you will have to come to terms with the fact that the problem isn't going anywhere until you deal with it smartly.
via GIPHY
Once you heard the above evidence, consider this red pill before you take the Finezhir vaccine. Do you want your gold standard neutralizing antibodies to get slashed sixfold? Also, if these super-duper antibodies keep getting diminished based on the number of times Finezhir stabs you, should you keep volunteering to get stabbed? Is that wise?
Okay, enough with the serious talk. I'm just trying to do my due diligence here. Let us move onto the comspiracy!
Hester Lolt: I spoke to the CEO of Finezhir, Balbert Ourla, about what message today's approval should send to those who have questioned the approval process.
This is the fastest approval the FBA has conducted on a drug. You'll recall the speed was one of the things that worried some people who were cautious and hesitant. They thought this process is moving way too fast. What do you say to those folks now?
This guy is worth 30 million, I almost came in my panties!
Balbert Ourla: I think that ahh for those people that ahh, they were a little bit reluctant because they wanted to see a full approval. Now they have the full confirmation of ahh one of the most respected agencies in the world—the FBA—that the product, the vaccine, is effective and safe.
Ahh, ahh, ahh. You idiot, speak it right! Untold billions hang in the balance!
Hester Lolt: Talk if you can for a moment about the safety: What have you learned about serious side-effects in this vaccine?
I got this. I'm smart. And doggone-it!, people like me!
Balbert Ourla: There are very rare. There are side effects, and some of them serious, but there are very very rare.
Most people won't even die right away.
Hester Lolt: And what can you tell us about the effectiveness of the drug? We know it was 95% against guarding against infection back in those initial trials, now down to 91%. Is this a one-way trip downward for this vaccine?
A nice little softball so he can pitch the booster.
Balbert Ourla: We realized through the real-world data that ahh after ahh, several months, there is a need for a booster because that will continue providing you the high level of efficacy that you observe after, immediately after the second dose.
Haha, no you fools, the vaccine can't go down. You can only buy MOAR! Ribbit!
Hester Lolt: As you know, we're seeing a lot of companies and institutions right now moving toward mandating that their employees or their students get the vaccine. Does Finezhir expect to require and mandate its employees become fully vaccinated?
Yeah, Balbert, is it cool? Is everyone doing it?
Balbert Ourla: We have asked our employees that they should be fully vaccinated, or taking twice a week, the test. But ahh, you know, we have approximately 90% of our people already vaccinated, fully vaccinated.
Of course, our guys are part of the placebo group. They're all vaxxed up! 😉
Hester Lolt: Do you anticipate or maybe stay up and night thinking about the possibility you're going to have to go back in the lab at some point and come up with something better?
Another softball so he can pitch more wares.
Balbert Ourla: Oh yes, and we do that constantly. We are making right now ahhh specialized vaccine for Delta. I'm almost certain that we will not need because booster sort of the current vaccine is very very very effective against Delta, but we cannot take that chance.
♫ "What I got you got to get it put it in you!" 💉 ♫"
♫ "Give it away, give it away, give it away now!" ♫
Ha, just kidding, not for free!
Hester Lolt: On vaccines for younger children, Mr. Ourla told me he expects the company's vaccine studies on children between 5 and 11 in age will be completed in September.
Damn this guy is evil, children are hardly at
risk. At least I'm getting paid. (ツ)_/¯💰💸💵
100 Million Vaccine-Hesitant Americans Will Get the
Shot Now That A Government Agency Said It’s Okay.
Somehow I feel that you are well and okay,
but I'll still miss you, honorably in the fray.
We fight until we can't fight the fight no more.
When the time comes, we shall certainly soar!
infinity is eternal, but it sure ain't that far.
I'd like to imagine that we will meet again,
and I think this is because, we were like kin.
I can feel your presence, I can feel you near.
I hope you rest in peace and enjoy your time away.
Forget this planet called earth, the dust and the clay.
or dive back down headlong into the stormy weather.
Whatever you decide, do the best thing for you!
I'd take a long break, as it's about to get blue.
Much love to you, now, and all-ways.
You'll not be forgotton,
not in my days.
💖