For a long time now I have noticed how much I am affected by the sadness and pain of those who grieve the loss of a loved one. Sometimes I pass by a place where they are holding a ceremony in honor of someone's death, and I can't hold my feelings as tightly, even though I have never met the person. My emotions simply give way to the weeping and wailing of those present today who are saying goodbye to that person who is simply no longer there, and whose absence today fills us with much sadness and regret.
Seeing many posts and quotes honoring @beeber, I could hardly divert my curiosity and attention, and although I could never have the privilege of meeting him, the words and reactions of many colleagues and friends show me that he has left a beautiful legacy that goes beyond work and friendship. It is one of those departures that you never want to come, one of those pains that you never finish assimilating because you had never imagined a scenario without the presence of that special person. Suddenly you even remember what was your last interaction with that person, and you think about what you could have done and said if you knew that this would be the last time you would be in front of that person.
Every time I hear or see so close such a sad experience related to death, automatically resurface in me those feelings that between fresh tears still take refuge in my heart. Lately I have lost certain family members in death, but the one that has undoubtedly impacted and affected me the most has been the death of my godfather 馃挃 I admit that it has been hard for me to assimilate the absence of someone who was a father and a friend to me, a person who always saw in me something so special as to consider me his son. Even in my dreams I remember his scolding and advice that he always knew how to share with love, a teaching that I will surely remember throughout my life.
In my darkest days is when I feel his absence the most, and I try to imagine what he would tell me or advise me in a given situation. I try not to cry because he did not like to see me sad, but when I look ahead and only see the emptiness I end up bowing to the discouragement and frustration of not having him by my side now. I even use to speak in a loud voice as a sign of complaint, reproaching myself for the things I stopped doing while my godfather was still with me. I have no doubt that if he were here today, I would feel better than I do now and I would be able to smile again without fear.
Thanks to my godfather I learned to trust myself, to never give up in the face of any adversity. He was the only person to whom I shared my concerns and thoughts with total freedom, and my respect for him was so great that I never dared to disrespect him or tell a lie. I learned to play dominoes thanks to him, and my good taste in music also bears the stamp of a man who always taught me to behave like a gentleman when I was just a child. He always wanted to teach me how to drive his car so that someday I could take it anywhere, but that tragic goodbye didn't give time for more 馃槥.
Despite all the weight of that emptiness in my heart, my hope gives me the strength to say it's not a goodbye but a see you later. When I see someone else go through such an unpleasant and heartbreaking moment caused by death, my words always end with this phrase: "It's not a goodbye. It's a goodbye. So, today I dedicate this humble phrase in honor of that great person who was @beeber, and also to all those who today sleep in death but are still alive and awake in our hearts. May that be our firm conviction, so that what today is a sad farewell will be the happiest of all welcomes 鉂わ笍
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