I've had a difficult week. Not bad, just challenging. Work and personal matters conspired against me and no matter where I turned complications arose, as did the headaches.
It was one of those working weeks in which I seemed busy, not productive and in which my personal life seemed, umm...stuck in place I guess is one way to describe it. I began each day feeling flat and the mood followed me around like a dark storm cloud. Interestingly, @ginnyannette indicated I was tempting fate [from a weather perspective] with a few comments I made about humidity...so maybe she was right. A virtual storm cloud loomed over me all week. Thanks Ginny, I blame you. (Not really.)
It's the weekend now and I decided to find a comfortable gap to slot myself into and work shit out; I'd contemplated a long hike but matters, once more, conspired against me and a café was my next choice.
I wanted to take a break from thinking to find the space to think and feel differently. I mean, to find a space in time and location in which I wasn't bombarded by work and general life-thoughts or concerns and where I was able to simply release anything other than thoughts about my personal wellbeing, my emotional wellbeing, and happiness. A bit selfish? You betcha!
I ordered a cappuccino, a coffee-style I would not normally drink, because I wanted a change then sat back to stare into space, watch the world go by and find some moments to look within and contemplate.
I'm not the world's most intelligent man, more the blunt instrument type to be frank, and I'm not especially gifted in any aspect so what I do well I've worked very hard for. There's a few things I'm very good at though and usually, straightening out the twists and knots life brings, is one of those things. I say usually as it's not always the case.
When I need a reset, and can't go hiking, kayaking, camping, shooting, off-roading and any number of other legit things I like to do, I have a method of finding a better mood or attitude I guess it is. I do that by playing a movie-reel through my mind and feeling the emotions of it; I mean the movie reel of something enjoyable that gives, or gave, me positive vibes and emotions.
The thought and feeling of it is often enough to push aside whatever is troubling me, at least momentarily, and allows me to reset as such, move on to whatever task or activity I need to undertake. Sure, I often need to come back to the issue, but by locking it in a box for the moment allows me to push on with what needs doing at the immediate moment. It works exceptionally well in work scenarios where I need single-focus and attention, which can be derailed by many factors, but it's not always successful, point in case: This week.
My cappuccino arrived, as pictured, and after a sip I went back to my contemplations. As time passed I began to realise I was okay. I mean, there was nothing overly wrong with me that needed fixing. (There is, but here isn't the place to say it).
No one thing, I guess I mean. Sure, my past catches up with me at times; it happens right? But this week was just a culmination of several factors coming together all at once and, due to the fact I was immersed so deeply, I was unable to address them in any logical fashion and find clarity. I was scattered in thought and attitude and that effected how I felt from an overall perspective: Flat, out of sorts and uninspired.
I sat at the café for a while, a few hours, had some more coffee and a pretty legit ham and cheese croissant and people-watched a little before taking a walk around the lake for an hour. As time passed, and the quiet contemplation deepened, I felt the knots unravel and began to feel better; thanks coffee contemplation.
I'm not going to credit the café for mission-success, the cappuccino, croissant or myself...In truth it was a culmination of things coming together in the right way at the right time and me being open to them, open to thought and change. Sometimes casting aside the everyday stuff, the complications and noise that confounds our true thought, has so much value and today that's what I did.
I hope y'all have a great weekend.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Both images are my own