I couldn't believe my ears! Angela was seething at me over Jordan, who'd she'd assured me months back that she did not have a thing for! We'd discussed it over wine, me spilling my guts about my crush on him. Now here she was acting like it never happened!
"You know what, Carrie? I hope you enjoy him as much as the stupid coffee beans you're obsessed with!" Angela spat at me. "But each time you take a sip now, I hope you think of me." She said smugly. "I hope you find yourself unable to enjoy coffee at all from the guilt." Angela said.
And with that, my best friend of 4 years stormed out of my apartment, leaving my head spinning.
I didn't think too much about her mention of coffee until later that day. My heart hurt over our fight, but it was edged in anger that she'd gone so far with her words.
I had a date with Jordan that afternoon. Walking into the cafe, I still had Angela's voice ringing in my head. I saw him across the room, waiting with two steaming mugs already.
"Hey babe!" Jordan says, going in for a kiss. Instinctively, I lean sideways for a hug instead. Confusion marks his face, but he sits down across from me all the same. "Something bothering you?" Jordan asks. Indeed it was.
I had no desire to tell him about it just then however, I desperately needed some coffee to help me think. As I touch the foamy first sip of my latte to my lips, it happens. A sudden cascade of hot slimy liquid pours over my shoes, projected at me by a tiny human.
It was bad enough that the kid at the table next to us decided my feet were the best place to hurl, but the result of that was that I did to. Jordan seemed sympathetic as I rushed out the door to go home and change, but I'm sure he was just as grossed out as me.
When I had washed up, and then washed up again, I went to my kitchen in somewhat of a daze to make an espresso. It was only mid-afternoon, but the day had felt like a week. I anxiously cupped my shot of sanity, downing it like whiskey.
That's when I hear a pop from down the hallway, then the gush of running water. I run down to find the pipes behind my toilet are leaking, and a quick phone call confirms it's a problem in my building. I get a mop and bucket, and sop up streams of water for an hour while I wait for maintenance to fix the issue.
I now had 2 texts from Jordan, and knew I should say something, anything... A twisting feeling in my stomach stayed my hand though.
The next morning I'm anxious as soon as I put my beans in the grinder. I don't believe in coincidences. I make my coffee anyways, I can't live without it. Sure enough, misfortune comes with the first sip once again. This time its a call from the client I have booked for a consultation this afternoon, saying they'd decided to go another way.
It looked like my workday was cut in half then, so I finally sucked it up and messaged Jordan back. Like some kind of glutton for punishment, I absentmindedly took another swig of coffee as I did this, however. The fluorescent bulb that costs 20 dollars to replace blew out above my head. Neat.
Jordan texts back almost immediately, comforting me about our terrible coffee date. I start to think about all the amazing things we have between us, and how we came to be dating in the first place. If Angela did curse me, would it be worse to lose coffee, or him?
This went on for another week. I tried to enjoy a coffee, and life screwed me running. My dog ran off in the park. Everything I ate with sauce seemed to spill on me. I stubbed my toes and got an unusual amount of papercuts. The more the universe stayed firm, the more I wanted to test it.
After days of playing chicken with the coffee gods though, I was forced to admit defeat. It was Jordan or the beans, my heart would break either way. As I thought it over, I was gifted a resolution from my stubbornness. Choosing coffee meant apologizing.
I headed to the coffee shop a few doors down from my apartment building and opted for a matcha this time. As I sipped it, I started to fume. The scot-free caffeine rush fueled my mind in a way I hadn't been able to enjoy all week.
Jordan and Angela never hung out alone. She'd never made any indication she liked him. In fact, just until last month, she'd had a boyfriend! The nerve! Meanwhile, I'd liked Jordan for a year. I turned down dates with anyone else. And on top of it all, I'd told Angela that I was going to make a move!
That's when I think of all the times that Angela has undercut me. How's she's always pointing out my flaws, making herself look better at my expense. The matcha is really vibing with my brain waves now, and I realize I'd rather take the hit when I had coffee for the rest of my life than apologize to her!
Besides, there were hundreds of teas to enjoy, and only one Jordan.
