When we are children, some may develop the tendency to selfishness. I was on that team on several occasions. That's why, when I turned out to be generous, the thought of getting back what I had given away invaded my mind. What helped me? In part, one of the ideas my mother taught me: "what you give away, you don't get back ".

This statement sought to make the other person keep what had been given to him. That he was now the rightful owner of that object, and taking it away from him would practically be tantamount to theft. Well, if you are an adult I'm sure you understood that, but for me it wasn't so simple at that age.

Lesson: From this point of view, I have learned that when I give something to the other person I must share his happiness, feel happy for him and with him. Also, respect the use he will give it, even if I have a "better" idea or I have given it a different use. After all, he is the new owner. It doesn't belong to me. This has helped me to avoid meddling in things I have no right to and to avoid giving other people a hard time.

However, I also understood that practicing this idea has a "dark side". As a child, when I learned that it was not a good idea to ask for back what I had given to someone else, it made me think over and over again whether or not to give that gift. I had to say goodbye to it! Would I really want to give it away? Sometimes my selfishness got in the way of my generosity.

Lesson: Although it is not wrong to think about whether we can, should and want to give a gift, we must sometimes identify the possible reasons why it is difficult for us to be splendid. Giving from our own hand makes us feel a happiness that often exceeds the value of what we have given. I am no longer a child, and it is possible to manage what hinders our development of qualities.

Unfortunately, I remember a few times using that statement as a weapon to get what I wanted. I remember once getting a child to give me one of the toys I wanted most. He did it without his parents' permission thanks to my insolent insistence. When they found out, they obviously advocated for their son, and asked me and my mother to give it back. Deep down, I knew they were right, so it was very embarrassing to give it back.

Lesson: It's clear. We cannot seek selfish gain through a dishonest method.

What is given away, is not given back. I still use and practice this teaching that I had in my childhood. And I believe that my experiences make me understand better what it implies to execute it. Fortunately, I have a better grade in the subject of "generosity". And self-knowledge and conscience alert me when there is a possible bad motive in this regard. By the way, our conscience, one of the most valuable gifts we have been given, is not returned.