I have journeyed in life, atleast for the past 15 years looking for happiness. At first my definition of happiness was a house full of my loved ones.
This quiet explained why I had looked up to holiday breaks especially during the Christmas season when I will have to be with all my loved ones. As this occasion brings all of us both far and wide back home.
This happiness was short lived as we all grew apart in one way or the other and people we care so much about passed away.
I started pursuing other things that I thought that would bring happiness to me like having a degree, a good marriage and a decent job. Well I did got my degree but did that brought that fulfillment to me? Absolutely not.
Being a degree holder is nothing in a country like Nigeria as the people that went for the skills instead of going to school are doing far better in life. Going for my masters is absolutely not the answer because I am sure it won't give me the happiness that i crave for. Maybe later and definitely not in Nigeria.
Well, getting married was the next on the list of the many things that would probably make me a happy woman. Well it did for the first few years of my marriage before I turned into an unhappy wife. There was something missing in my life that made me feel empty. It was a very difficult stage in my life especially when for some women all they need to be happy and fulfilled is to be married. My children were actually the best part of being married and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be their mother. Somedays I feel like the world's best mum, otherdays i breakdown in tears with no clue of how to be a good mother.
Maybe if I get a good job i will be finally happy and fulfilled. There is more to life than marriage and having children right?. Being able to have your own money will definitely bring one so much happiness. A month later I got a job and was happy to have something to look forward to everyday. Going out in the morning and coming home in the evening looking all formal and classy. It was fulfilling for the next two months after which I became exhausted and stressed out. And in no time the happiness was gone.
Where then are thou ohh happiness?
Oneday i wake up with a serious migraine and other scary symptoms on my body. I went to Google to take a look at what it might be and googled scared me to death. I went to the hospital and thankfully it was just a minor headache. I don't know what it was but I was certain it was the force of nature that drew me to the emergency ward of the hospital. I saw people who would give anything to be able to stand healthy as I was. In that instance nothing eske matters but life. The message was passed across and I went home thinking.
At home, i looked around me and saw happiness for the first time in everything. I saw my two adorable children that mean the world to me. I can give anything to stay by their side always. I saw happiness in the simple act of being able to wake up and dress up for work. Happiness in having a glass of water. Happiness in cherishing our love ones who are still here with us.
Then it dawned on me that HAPPINESS is LIFE.
One cannot attain any form of happiness except with a heart of gratitude for the blessings in life no matter how little. There is no end in dreaming big and wanting other exciting things of life. Just when you are happy that you have finally bought the latest iPhone, Apple releases another one. It's a circle that never ends.
So to pay the price of this precious gift of life, I wake up every day with a thankful heart and not grumble even when I think that i am having a bad day. I do have to exercise daily to keep fit and eat healthy too. The most important one is to get good medical attention and counseling when needed. Another part of the price I have to pay is to be the reason why someone outthere is happy. Show kindness to people and try to see the good in people instead of the bad. This will also help me to live a fulfilled and happy life.
**WILL I BE HAPPY AS LONG AS I AM ALIVE ?
Well ofcourse I will be happy because no matter what life throws at you, you will be fine with time. Time is the remedy for everything. Nothing is permanent in this life and as long as there is life there is HOPE.
