Between the veils of contentment
Invisible gloom is camouflaged
Major missing is love
Felt with each tick tock
Warmth of compassion
Care of love ones
The infinite affection
Missed badly in loneliness
Enormous people would claim the significance of survival by staying away from home. I also consider this is vital to testify to ownself. But not before I left for the first time. Grow up in the family where I remained the Apple of everyone's eye.
Behind the scene ;
I never ever thought that someday I would be crying alone at night to miss my mom. I never imagined that I would be placing smile on my face along with having broken heart. But this all happened. I visited my maternal twice without my mum as a first adventure to leave the home. But I had a bucket of fun with me whom I call brother.hehe no one made me feel that it's not my home. So I don't consider it as leaving home as I carried the homies with me lol. Would you agree??
I left Home Sweet Home ;
Officially I left home 3 months ago , hehe I know at this maturity level no one will consider this as a feeling as mostly girls do this in the name of marriage. But the kid inside me made me feel each day. I had everything to rejoice more comfortably than home.
New turn in life ;
New city, new circle, more adventure, more perks and more activities to engage. But what happened hmmm I started missing home. More specifically, the place where I used to live. The environment I have had.
I was surrounded by nature - image taken from original post
The voices which looked bad to me. The people who visited me and I were tired of passing smiles. The lack of facilities pulled me back to enjoying nature.
The freedom that it's my place and my people. These vibes arrived to me with the passage of time.
Regret on my own decision;
I chose this rigorous time as a challenge for me. So I was also the one who felt regret about my decision. I can't move back from any point to make people laugh.
I never imagined that I would be watching horror films alone at night and then sleeping without any fear.
I laughed while watching comedies in the middle of the night and the walls accompanied me in this.
I did the home chore by myself and believe me I fell in love with things hehe. I understood how better I can use them. I tried different recipes just because I forgot what the next mom added when she prepared it.
Adventure and freedom;
For the first time I went styling and make-up without any reason. I sliced my hair into a short length , stitched my dress, applied make-up and then did a video call to mum hehe. I wanted her presence in the joyful party.
People around me contacted me through texts and calls but I couldn't tell them how badly I missed them. I have had freedom to do anything but it feels like it has no meaning.
I can't change what I actually am.
Changing outfits, accent, company don't change the actual personality you are having.
Alive with new spirit;
Again I packed those outfits , jewellery, shoes, books because it's the time to go back.hehe although new things are added in my collection and personality. Also within this time Hive supported me to smash the cell of sickness. Some decent people kept me alive.
The sentiments on my birthday
And I wasn't away from home I was in my home which modified me by making me more perfect and strong hehe. So this is all related to the first time when I left home and how I have managed my life during this time.
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