I come from a family that takes communal life quite seriously; in fact, every New Year's Eve, my paternal cousins do have what they call the last supper for the year. It's basically an exercise where everyone sits at a long dining table at our event center and enjoys a good meal organized by everyone present at the table.
While we eat, we talk and catch up on old times. At the end of the dinner, the atmosphere is calmed with slow and cool music, basically blues from the olden days.
I was fortunate to be part of this family ritual when I was called upon to fill in the managerial position of my cousin, who was on maternity leave. I'm not always available for family time, and quite frankly, that was the first and the last dinner I had with extended family 3 years ago.
Coming to my own immediate family, the last time we had a meal together was when we were teenagers. The moment we all got done with uni and left home, that marked the end of that ritual for us. Although sometimes my siblings do come around, it's not really as it used to be. Everyone gets so busy with life that the time just isn't perfect anymore for a family dinner.
On my end there were most days where I just grabbed dinner before coming home because I would be closing late. There were also times when my daughter would want us to have dinner together, but I would be too occupied to honor her request.
Recently I promised her that we'd go to lunch, which is long overdue, but so many circumstances with the weather and my schedule are not really making that a possibility. Honestly, I do miss those times. I miss the dinner with my siblings and my parents. Even though we were not allowed to speak as per table etiquette, there's this warmth and feeling of unity that oozes in the air during these times. A feeling that classifies a house as a home.
I am aware that I'm supposed to carry on the tradition of family mealtime with my daughter, especially at this stage, and it breaks my heart that I can't at the moment. I really did stop trying to have dinner with her when I saw that I kept promising and not honoring it.
It wasn't like an intentional act, really; it was just a challenge of time, and if I decide that, oh, we are going to have dinner today, then it just simply means she would miss out on her sleep time and eat quite late or miss out on dinner time because we couldn't get it before her sleep time. From the look of things, we are in a dilemma, which I am seeing to it that we come out from.
Thankfully, we are surrounded by family, and she always gets the warmth from the love that they have to give. While it's not the same thing as the warmth coming from her own nuclear family, I think it's better than nothing.