We’re all a product of our environment, and by environment, I mean families, neighbors, and just about everyone who has a hand in the raising of a child. The thing is, whether you want to or not, everyone has a hand in this. It could be the creepy neighbor who will make the child become a watchful adult, always on the lookout for potential creeps. It could be the dangerous streets that make the child streetwise. It could be the kind landlord who makes the child believe that, truly, there’s hope for humanity.
The outcome of a child doesn’t just depend on the kind of parents they have and the upbringing they receive. Because even in this day and age, it really does take an entire village to raise a child. And all of these will be a great factors in determining what exactly the child turns out to be.
So, are children born good? Or are they just raised that way? Sometimes, you’ll see awesome kids come out of dysfunctional families, you’ll see them try their best to leave such families behind as they try to build their own lives. Even though both parents were deadbeats, they managed to have a child who was decent. We’ve seen this many times, just as we’ve seen how seemingly good parents also birth wayward kids. I’ve seen numerous cases where parents lament that they have no idea where they went wrong with their kids.
Well, no one is born good or bad. After all, for someone to be considered good or bad, they have to actually do good or bad things. And this means, intentionally doing good or bad things. Babies can’t fall into that category because they don’t have thoughts. At least I don’t think they do. I can’t remember if I had thoughts as a baby; it was too long ago. Lol.😅
We learn based on everything we see happening around us. We learn how to act, we learn how not to act. And all these things make us into the person that we grow up to be. Still, people could grow up in the same neighborhood, in the same kind of circumstances, and end up totally different, learning different lessons from the same experience.
Three boys could grow up in a highly abusive home. A home so abusive that the mother had to run for her life, leaving them with the father, who turned his fists on them. This is a traumatic experience, but it could affect all three boys differently. One would become an upstanding adult, who would be terrified of having kids because he doesn’t want to be like his father. If he does have kids, he would go above and beyond to make sure that he’s nothing like his father. Taking efforts to be a good dad to his kids.
The second brother learned a different lesson, though. He was raised under the iron hand, and he’d pass that lesson down as well. He’d see no issues beating up his wife and kids just to keep them in line. That worked for him, and he would pass it on down. He would think he’s doing the right thing, not knowing that he’s a monster just like his father had been to him.
And the third brother? That one could simply end up being a serial killer. He never forgave his mom for leaving them alone with their dad, and that made him hate all women, and then he went on a killing spree. You know, the background of most fictitious serial killers..
So, you see? Circumstances affect people differently. What could motivate one person to be better could be the very reason another person chooses to be worse. And sadly, you can’t know for sure. But what is actually certain is that the older we get, the more accountable we have to be. Whether we want to accept that fact or not. Bad or good, it’s all a choice. We choose to make good decisions just as we choose to make the bad ones.
It’s not ‘who we are’, it’s not about bloodlines, it sure as hell is not tied to our upbringing. A lot of us grew up in rough neighborhoods, yet we’re not touts today, even though some of our peers are touts today. We chose this life, and we keep choosing it every day.
No one is destined to be a good person, just as no one is destined to be bad. We decide what we want to be.
