I thought they were all true

Growing up was fun. As a child, we were easily deceived by our parents, uncles, aunts, and elders around us. Because of feeble minds and lack of wisdom, we tend to believe all their cooked-up lies and take them to heart without a second thought. Every kid has been lied to. We only get to know the truth when we come of age. The funniest part is that now that we are grown, we inherited the gimmicks from our parents and continued from where they stopped by lying to kids just as they did to us when we were kids

I don't think I can forgive those who cooked up this big lie. That big lie about the football match between India and Nigeria. I believe many of us would remember this big lie that India defeated Nigeria by 99 goals to 1. I remembered the day Uncle Segun told me this story. I looked at his mouth the way he analyzed it. He said the ball would turn into a lion, and the keeper would run from the post. He also said the ball would turn to 100, and the keeper wouldn't know which to catch. Ha! Uncle Segun cannot enter heaven. He also said the only goal scored by Nigeria was by Segun Odegbami that when he kicked the ball, it turned into a stone, and his leg broke into pieces, but the ball entered the net though. I began to nurture that in mind and see India as diabolic. That lie really got me, and I also passed it on to younger kids. It keeps rooling

Some of my "agabaya" uncles also once told me that when it's raining and at the same time sunny that it means a lion is giving birth to a cub somewhere. You know we seldom witness such, so whenever it happens, I shout out to my friends and anyone around me that a lion is giving birth to a cub. I can't just believe I did all these things. How on earth does that correlate? We were really fucked with lies

There's also another lie that when you beat a boy with a broom, his toitoi (peni*****) will not work again. My mum beats me with a broom, and anytime she does that, I shout and cry that my toitoi will not work again because I was flogged with a broom. It's really crazy to believe that

I was also told that if I drag a stick on the ground my mum's breast would be as long as the line drawn by the stick. I would quickly clean all the lines because I can't afford to see my mum's breast dragging on the ground. Chai, kids mumu

What about ojuju calabar? That really got me well. Anytime I hear ojuju Calabar, I run for my dear life. I was told that ojuju Calabar is a very fearful creature that appears any time a child misbehaves. That was used as a brain reset for me. I believed this lie for years. Oh my God. Ojuju can freak out just any kid. I do it a lot for kids. Ojuju is coming

Most of these lies stayed in my heart for a long time. I believed in the NIgeria vs India match for many years until I realized it's impossible to score 99 goals in 90 minutes. If 99 goals are scored in a match, it means one goal is scored in less than a minute

Thanks for reading
This is ckole the laughing gas
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