I took alcohol for the first time in 2022 and it was because of many things. One, we had an hostel party and everyone was drinking and one particular guy was misbehaving and in my head, I thought it shouldn't be that crazy. Or could this boy be acting some parts of this display?, I thought to myself. That led to me being curious about how it actually feels, I wanted to see for myself. In my head, I was so convinced alcohol wouldn't be able to knock me out of reality, I remember bragging about that to my fiend and my cousin. Another reason was because I was sort of sad, found out the person I liked might never see me more than a friend, lol. In summary, I was genuinely curious and I wanted to see if I would actually get drunk and luckily, it was at a time I was sad, so it really felt like a good time to go for it.
For someone that had never drank before and doesn't even know her limits, I drank way too much than I should have done that day. I felt okay for a while, so I kept drinking more and at a point, I started feeling tipsy. The alcohol was already kicking in then and I still even drank more after so as to feel the effect well, till I couldn't take more, I was starting to feel drunk. To be honest, I think I was quite a mindful drunk because I didn't allow the alcohol to take over my body and thoughts completely. I could have started talking about how heartbroken I was and bla bla bla, but I didn't, I programmed my brain to talk about something else.
That 'something else' was not even intentional because I found myself talking about a friend of mine that was also my hostel mate. I was talking about how he was really good to me and how nice of a person he is. I said a lot of things I couldn't even remember, and I was told I even cried. I am glad that came out of my head because indeed, that friend of mine was really good to me and showed up for me many times. I had known him since my 100 level days when we used to do mini importation together and we have been really good friends from then even till now. He was there that day and I am sure he realized how grateful I was.
I honestly didn't remember most parts of the night and the other things I said, but I sure didn't say anything that was out of place, my cousin would have told me. Maybe I just cried a lot but mind you, it wasn't because I was somehow heartbroken oh!. The highlight of the whole experience was me throwing up three good times and not even remebering one of those timesš¤£. My cousin took care of me and when I woke up the next morning, I realized how much I disliked and still dislike hangovers. I literally felt awful the next morning, I can't even explain it in words. It also felt as if I had malaria and there was this crazy guilt I was feeling in my head too. There was also one voice telling me it was okay, and I shouldn't be too hard on myself.
The smell of alcohol traumatized me greatly after that time, I didn't even want to smell it anywhere near me at all. I still don't like the smell till now but I guess I will get over it. Also, I really do not like vulnerability that comes with drinking, but if I am with people I am comfortable with, it is totally fine. We can all agree I am very sensible, even when drunkš¤£ Anyways, that is my little alcohol experience. Have I drank after that time? Occasionally, and usually in really small quantities and definitely drinks with really less alcohol percentage.
Thanks for reading ā¤ļø