Hello Guys
For every young woman out there, getting married is one of their life goal dream. Finding the right guy, the knight in shining armor, their last piece of the life, and so on. I am not a romantic guy so I will not prolong this things... I will short it with my way...
Marriage is a dream, a life goal, something that we long for... however sometime, for some people, it doesn't work. And when things get nasty, one of them or maybe both feel that the need to end it all, then Divorce comes.
I came from a Roman Catholic background, so I did not believe in divorce. I believed a marriage is sacred, because it was an oath or promise from you to your God, Jesus and Holy spirit, that you would take the person in front of you as your spouse, and you would continue your life together with her as one entity, family. yet today I have an ex-wife lol
So I will put all religion and faith aside here, let's talk about divorce as a legal act of ending a marriage. When you decide to end your marriage, just file in a divorce to your civil registration or civil court. They will have a trial for both of you, and they agree with your propose, they will legalize the break up and both of you won't have that marital status anymore.
To make the court law agrees with your propose, it is not about proving you are right and he/she is wrong. Court law will judge based on their finding, and they must be assured that any efforts to repair the relationship has been taken. So a divorce can not be accepted by just a common communication problems or miscommunication, or maybe financial issues.
Why are those thing needed? There are many factors that are counted here, but again I will leave out the religion and faith stuff. After a divorce is agreed, court will review of the family assets, all the debts, and parental rights and liabilities for any children involved. These are the part that make both side becomes enemy for life. Your ex will take half of yours, and send half of her/his debt to you. He/she might take your kids out from your reach.
How About Children?
Now we are talking about children. I was lucky I did not have any children, so it was between me and her. If that time we had children, maybe things would go differently. Not saying we would not decide to get through divorce, but the considerations were different.
Marriage is to form a family, and when we talk about family we are talking about a husband (father), a wife (mother) and children. There aren't any parent there, no auntie, uncle, in-law, cousin or what so ever.
They are family that are not main family. So keeping your family as a whole unit is about all the things that involve between father, mother and children.
So when a divorce is happened it is not about winning or losing. Everyone in the family lose something, including children. They won't see their family as a normal one, because there won't be father and mother as the one and the only. They will go separately and there might be some new mother or new father as replacement, and this is definitely not a pleasant experience for any children.
Some people say children will always be the victims in all divorcement, on some part I agree with this, but not as a whole. There are many reasons why you should try to improve and repair your marriage for the sake of your children, however the key is improving and repairing relationship.
If that relationship has gone beyond the line, which both person think there is no need to fix it all anymore, then just go with divorce. There is no point to keep your marriage intact for the children, but the parents do not talk to each other anymore, no physicals interactions and emotional connection anymore. When there is no more family spirit and soul, just let it go. Don't use children as a hostage to keep the marriage alive only from legal perspective.
Both persons as parent, although not as formal husband and wife anymore, can still do their responsibilities to their children. They still can show and give their love to their children, although some cases it is not as easy or simple as being said like that, especially when domestic violence and betrayal or cheating are part of the reason for divorcement.
However, still don't use children as a collateral or hostage, let them know part by part depends on their age and maturity. Don't talk bad about their parent if it is not true, as the one who wins the child custody usually talk bad about the other in hope that the child will hate him/her too. Just don't hide behind the children for any reasons.
One thing I can say or share here that even though a divorce is a painful experience for everyone, for some cases it is something that mandatory needed in order for both couple to step forward in their life, getting back their well being. Again this won't be easy and painful for everyone, however again I keep saying again, some cases it is needed...
Thank you for coming and reading my post. I live in Jakarta, Ex-Capital City of Indonesia. Currently I am running a small business with less than 10 people. I used to live by making money online, that's why I like being here, on HIVE, and in #PIMP - (Paper In My Pocket) community.
