Every human is entitled to their privacy regardless of how little they might seem even if it is quite difficult to acknowledge sometimes. A child is born into the world empty, lacking any form of social skills and knowledge to navigate the world. Depending solely on the directives of his/her parents/guardian for guidance and protection to stay out of harm's way. Slowly and steadfast, the child grows in knowledge and wisdom he/she pass through the agents of socialisation.
It is the primary duty of a parent to mod a child into someone who is considered to be responsible and an acceptable in the society, a duty that is solely dependent on the ability of a parent to discharge their duties. Irrespective of a parents short comings, every parent will definitely have a Standard or outlined principle that guides the way their child is trained but there are times when such parental duties falls on the shoulder of brothers and sisters to look after their younger ones.
Being born into a family of six, As the second born in the family I'm gifted with two siblings but that changed after my late aunts' children started staying with us. Most part of my life was spent in school as a result of years spent in boarding school and higher institution, so me and my siblings never really lived with each other apart from during holidays. I and my elder brother were the only children in the house for awhile, I remember how I always wished for younger siblings, well God answered my prayers, My parents decided to have more children after a very long break.
Tofunmi came first the third born son in the family, making three boys including I and my elder brother. I was so happy to have a younger brother, at least someone will be around to take care of mini jobs in the house. I was in SS2 when my younger brother was given birth to, we only saw each other when I'm around during holiday period. By the time I got admission into gateway Polytechnic to pursue National diploma in mass communication, during the first year of the program our last born was given birth to making four of us. The only difference is she was a girl, the only girl child in the house precisely.
A picture of me and my elder brother 4 years ago
I and my brother were already out of the house to pursue our academic career, so they were the only children in the house, just like us some years back. Eventually my aunt children joined the party two boys, they were both older than my two younger siblings, meaning our space in the house has been occupied. Though we were only around during holidays, so it is never really stuffy. Till when I graduated from Moshood Abiola polytechnic and I came back home fully during February last year.
Getting back home I noticed something weird, it is the fact that my siblings together with my two cousins, they seem to have matured and grown a lot, it has been awhile I have seen them since we don't reside in the same state but I don't think it has been that long. Coming home was great, having to live with my family was fantastic until the whole drama began. The issue was that since there was absent of authority in the house whenever my parents are away there was no one to control my cousins and since those ones were out of control my younger brother and sister don't feel the need to report to anyone before getting things done.
At first, I felt the need to let things be because there is nothing I cherished more than my peace of mind. This continued till the oldest among my two cousins was about to sit for is WAEC. For Nigerians we all know how difficult this examination can be but this cousin of mine doesn't seem to care about it at all. Being aware of how difficult this examination can be and seeing him act nonchalantly towards it got on my nerves so easily. The thing is I'm not against a child having fun but this cousin of mine has the habit of chatting from night till day break, as if that is not bad enough he always comes back very late from school. Seeing him act this way I didn't want such ill attitude to rub off on my other siblings.
A picture of me and my cousin 4 years ago
I approached him just to make sure he is aware of his errors but from is reaction, it was so obvious that he wasn't interested in the conversation. Probably he felt he was old enough to make decisions for himself, the former me would have used slap to restructure the direction of his thinking but then I decided to let it slide, after all I already spoke my mind it is left for him to listen. A part of me knew the best way for him to learn is from experience, to cut the long story short, examination time came and went. When his result came out, he tried but then he failed literature which happens to be one of the subject needed for his admission.
He was so ashamed of himself to the extent he would not allow our path to cross because he knows I will definitely tell him "I warned you, didn't I" . When it was time for him to resit for NECO believe me he was more humble than I expected him to be, he came to me to seek for advice which actually surprised me a lot.
Most times in as much as we want to be involved in the lives of our loved ones, we have to ensure that we don't make them feel like we are like we are trying to dictate to them how to to live their lives. Our role is to call their attention anytime we feel they are on the wrong path, caution them as much as we can. It is left to them to decide whether to take the advice or leave it. It is impossible to force wisdom on people, the best way to learn is from experience.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "How private should you be" in hive learners community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
All pictures are mine or else stated otherwise