Anxiety is not just about being worried. It’s not the normal worry you feel when you have a test or an interview. Anxiety is deeper. It’s when your heart keeps beating fast, your mind starts thinking of the worst things, and you feel like you are not safe even when everything looks okay. It is fear that doesn’t want to go away. It is like carrying a heavy load inside you every day.
When people hear the word “relocation,” they often think it’s all excitement, new beginnings, and fresh opportunities but for me, moving to a new place came with a deep, heavy anxiety that I am still trying to fight every day. Before I moved, I had my life going. My career was moving steadily, I knew where to go, who to call, and how to handle my business, but since I changed my environment, everything has been on hold. It feels like someone pressed the pause button on my life, and I don’t know how to press play again.
The hardest part is not even the new environment. It’s the fear that keeps whispering in my ears. "Where do you even start from?" "How will you find customers?" "What if nobody wants your service?" "What if you fail?" Every day, I wake up with my heart heavy. I worry about how to introduce myself in a place where nobody knows me. I worry about how to stand out in a market that already looks full. I worry about competition, about people who have been here before me, who already have loyal clients and a strong name.
Fear has a way of making everything look bigger than it is. Sometimes, I feel like I’m fighting a battle inside myself. One part of me wants to go out and try. Another part is scared of rejection, of starting from zero again, of being seen as "new" and "unknown." Starting over is not as easy as people think. It’s painful when you know your worth, but you have to prove yourself all over again. It’s frustrating when you have skills and experience, but you still have to beg for chances. It’s lonely when you have no one to encourage you because everybody is busy building their own lives too.
Deep down, I have another bigger fear, that I will lose myself while trying to survive. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I have given up on my dreams because fear won. I don't want to become someone who settled for less because starting over was too hard. Anxiety makes it worse. It makes me overthink every move. It makes me delay starting because I want everything to be perfect. It makes me scared of failing even before I try.
Sometimes, I just sit and wonder,
"If I will ever find my footing again?" "Will I ever feel confident again?" But even in my quiet fears, I know one thing for sure, I didn’t come this far just to give up. I have started reminding myself that everyone who is great once started small. Even the biggest names in any field were once strangers in a new place. They faced doubts, fears, rejection but they didn’t stop, They kept showing up.
And that is what I plan to do. Maybe I don’t need to have everything figured out today. Maybe I just need to take small steps. One customer at a time. One connection at a time. One day at a time. I also remind myself that competition is real, but comparison is deadly. I am not here to compete with anyone, I am here to build my own journey, no matter how slow it looks at first.
Now I tell myself, You are allowed to be scared, but you must not be stuck. You are allowed to start small. You are allowed to grow at your own pace. The fear is there, but so is the fire. The anxiety is loud, but so is the dream. I don’t know exactly how or when things will change for the better but I believe they will, because I didn’t come this far by accident. And I am stronger than I feel right now. Starting over is scary but staying stuck is scarier.
This is my response to today's episode of hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w163e1 which the topic is tagged ANXIETY
