I have read romantic novels of many famous writers of Pakistan like:
- Peer e Kamil
- Jannat k patay
- Jo bachy Hain sung smait lo
- Namal
- Akas
- Halim
- Karakorum Ka Taj Mahal
- Bin roye
- Iman Umeed or Muhabbat
All these are Urdu based novels
And when I used to read novels, I used to get lost in a different world of imagination. I make sketches of heroes and heroines in my mind. Their mutual attraction gave a different feeling. Sometimes there were such feelings as if I myself had gone into the heroine's place. I wanted no one to disturb me while reading because when someone interrupted me inside, my entire climax was ruined.
Reading novels is not bad but expecting life like novels is very risky. We create a different world. And we want worlds like novels to be found in real life.
When a person becomes addicted to reading novels, he starts judging every relationship on the basis of novels. He wants to find a life partner like the one he read about in his novels. But in reality, when his hope and expectations is broken, one has to face a lot of sorrow. There is a world of difference between the world of romantic novels and the real world.
It is not necessary that we get only negative thoughts from reading novels. We also get many lessons. Isn't it necessary that every romantic novel ends in a romantic way? Sometimes these teach very important lessons. If we know that, we can save our relationship by remembering that lesson somewhere in life.
I will tell you what I have learned:
Learn to love yourself:
"Strengthen your heart and stop expecting everyone to understand you. Not everything is for everyone."
(Novel: jannat k patay
Writer: Nimra Ahmed)
When we love ourselves, people will love us. Don't cry about your problems to others all the time. Know your values so others can know your values and respect you.*
Respect is more important than love:
"If both of us continue to criticize each other's faults and shortcomings, then very soon our hearts will lose respect for each other. No matter how much love a relationship has, if respect and consideration goes away, love goes with it."
(Novel: Abe hayyat
Writer: Umera Ahmed)
The novels I have mentioned above are not awkward but in it a respect is shown in couple's love. I have learned that to live a good life, we must also believe in our partner. We should never contradict each other unnecessarily.
We should respect our partner more than love. Because I have also often read such novels in which obsessive love is shown and such love only leads to humiliation. Try to respect your partner. If you respect him, love will follow automatically.
Don't let doubt enter the relationship:
I have learned to never let doubt enter into life. Because sometimes a small thing causes so much distance in a relationship that it is not possible to resolve it later. So, If a relationship is deteriorating on the basis of suspicion, it should be sorted out as soon as possible. It should not be delayed.
Give relationship a freedom:
I have learned that those who are loved are not tied down, they are given a freedom because every relationship should be so sure that if it goes anywhere, it will come back to him. Do not hold any love in your fist. Give your partner a freedom.
Love has nothing to do with beauty:
"A human being is a complete package, it has both good and bad qualities and if we judge someone by his weakest link, we become a very bad judges".
(Novel: Halim
Writer: Nimra Ahmed)
Love has nothing to do with external beauty. A man does not find true love by looking at beauty, he sees the features of his partner. He accepts her with all her flaws. You does not demand of changing it. Instead, accept his flaws and tell him how important he is to you.
There is no option in love:
I have learned that there is no option in love. If you have love, cherish it, don't hang on to it. If you want to leave your love, leave it completely, don't torture it little by little.
Never involve a third party in a partner's fight:
Whenever there is a fight or misunderstanding between two people, try to handle it by both. Never let a third person sort out your fight. Because the more people you add to the relationship, the more complex it becomes.
If you live your life keeping these things in mind, life will become very beautiful.