I took my phone and figured "let's go see what Hive learners are up to", logged into discord and went to the Hive learners community contest announcement and saw this interesting topic "Cheats" , and am wondering how Hive learners keep bringing up interesting topics to talk about?. Once again i said "if I am not gonna participate in any topic this week am definitely gonna participate in this prompt".
You know what got me hilarious?. What makes me laugh?, its about cheating, nahh …. not cheating in a game, or test or exams i ain't talking about those type of cheating, I'm talking about cheating in a relationship.
Some months back i wrote a post about finding out hubby has been cheating on me, yahh it was quite devastating, i was miserable back then but right now thinking about how miserable i was just makes me laugh, i just find it very funny.
You'll be surprised to know this, me and hubby are still very much together thank you very much for your concern, and i find it so hard to believe myself, like what the hell am i still doing with a man you cheated on me. If i haven't given birth, i would have dumb his ass the moment i found out he was cheating.
On second thought before making any drastic decision I might regret, I think knowing the reason "why" he cheated in the first place would be a great idea to help me move on if maybe I decide to leave or stay.
"Why do people cheat?" "Why the hell do people cheat?"
Hubby and i got a chance to sit down and talk like civilized Nigeria couples, Maybe to see if we can still save whatever is left in the relationship, you know even if am boiling down and furious and i just wanna punch him in the face, I decided to set aside the anger, pain and hurt i feel inside, put up a smile like that of hyena and broke the silence with a simple yet tactic question ):
The most crazy question someone would ask is "How did you do it" ? I never even bothered asking that, just to avoid stabbing someone to death.
Guess what it was? Yap stop Guessing it's what every other person would want to know and ask if they find themselves in that kinda position they'll want to know the reason why? "Why did you do it? Why did you cheat on me?" I asked.
He looked at me feeling sorry and said, no lies, the truth is I allowed it, I wanted it at that time because I thought it was just for the moment, i didn't take her seriously and i knew no matter how i fool myself around her or get carried away outside i knew it'll all come to an end someday and i'll still come back to my family.
Well that's my answer right there. At least he didn't give me the answer most people give when they're caught doing awful things and they say "It's the devil's fault he made me do it" or "it's the work of the devil".
There, you have the answer, the reason Why people cheat, be it in exams, business, test, life etc, its because they decided to, they wanted it, it's their choice and best interest to cheat for whatever purpose they want to accomplish at that very moment, time and period, be it passion, lust, money, or material things etc
Plain and straight, i aint gonna beat around the bush and lie about it. I still feel hurt, it's like waking up every morning being stabbed over and over again. I still can't get the thought of someone I trust and didn't expect it outta my mind, It's painful though.
The most annoying part is living under the same roof, waking up every morning seeing his face. No matter how I pretend all is well, I just can't control the hurt and anger I feel inside each time these thoughts he cheated flashed through my mind, but…….
How did I let go of the hurt? How did I live past it.?
One thing is for sure, the trust i have in the relationship has been powered down to 5% its normal and just common. The most important thing is i gotta love myself first, i gotta love my self esteem and know my worth. If I keep hurting and being angry over his mistakes, then I don't love myself. If I keep thinking about it countless times, then I won't forgive myself. And if i don't forgive myself then i can't forgive him, and if i can't forgive him then i can't find myself and gain peace of mind.
Situations will remain constant if we always grieve over the hurt and pain someone caused us and the end result is usually death. I ain't ready to die for no one. Things will never improve, instead of it getting better it always gets worse.
I find it so hard to let go, but if I love myself more and want my peace of mind I have to just let go and move on. I have to start thinking of ways to build up myself and improve myself. I need to start taking care of myself, I need my peace of mind and happiness and no one is gonna give me that except myself.
Cheers🍷 To Hive Learners Community for bringing up delicious and enticing topic every single week,
Thanks for bumping into me, till we read again. Kudos!