Having a family, regardless of the size, is a blessing, and I strongly believe that the importance of a family, whether big or small, can't be quantified in today's world. Being a family person, I cherish my family a lot and love being around them. The love, respect, and support we have shown each other over the years have really helped us bond so well, and watching everyone grow is a beautiful thing for me.
I am lucky to be part of a family of six, and that should be considered moderate, right? We are not small or large, judging by Nigeria's culture and belief back then. We could have even been smaller in number, but my parents embarked on a journey that eventually didn't work out for them.
According to the story, my parents actually wanted just two kids, but as life would have it, they ended up with four for the same reason why many families ended up as large despite planning for something small. Mom wanted a female child that would be her companion when the boys were gone, but God, in his infinite mercy, kept blessing her with males. She eventually gave up on the target and settled with us.
Being the first child of the family, it's fair to say I love the number. It's just perfect, especially with the age difference, even though I didn't like the gap back then. I and my immediate siblings are very tight, yet we have different interests, so we barely do a lot of things together. I can imagine if he is my only sibling, then the home will be very boring, and that wouldn't help my situation because mingling with people wasn't my thing while it was the opposite for him.
Luckily for me, I have two extra siblings, and one of them turned out to have a few similar interests with me, so we are always vibing, even though he is a lot younger than me. Unlike many people, sharing responsibilities wasn't a priority for me despite being part of a family of six. Due to the age difference, I learned to do so many things as a kid, so doing chores wasn't an issue, but it's also a huge relief having siblings to support me. I feel blessed having people to interact with and as well call a family.
The only setback we had as a family was finance, and that was because of some unexpected challenges that came up along the line, plus it's always like that when one person unexpectedly has to bear the family burden. It was quite challenging, and things would have been different if we were even smaller in size, but no regrets because those times have become memories.
If asked to choose between a small or large family today, I will settle for the small family. That's what I have always wanted because I understand pretty well that a lot of things are unpredictable in life. My wife's mom lost her husband after having 12 kids, and she had to struggle so much.
We always want the best out of life but can't predict the future. The lesser the number, the easier it gets for the family to scale through whatever challenges that come their way. That aside, the cost of maintaining a large family today is no joke, so I must be very sensible with my decision. If inflation is hitting this hard in 2024, I wonder what the situation of things would be in the next decade when my kids would be in school paying tuition fees, feeding, and others.
I intend to keep it small and pray life doesn't come with a shocker because I know a church member with this same mindset. The couple had plans for two and got one first, but their next attempt ended with a triplet, meaning they ended up with four kids.