As we journey in this life, days come when we wish that what we did, we shouldn't have done because of the outcome that came from it, which was negative. Most times we see ourselves in the same mess again because probably we just felt like trying it out again, or, worse, because we succumbed to an outside pressure that is just to please an onlooker and run from "what will they say?" In most cases this kind of failure pains us more because deep within we knew that it was not going to yield a positive result.
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On countless occasions I have seen myself in such a scenario, because I just knew from the deepest part of me that this won't work, but because of a presumed relationship, I continued it. It has a special way of paining my heart, but I just use strong eyes to continue. Weeks back a friend's daughter sent me a link that I should go through the community on Telegram. After asking several questions because I am one person that detests clicking on random sites because of past experience.
Lastly, for a deeper confirmation, I sent the link to my brother to verify. When he returned with positive news, I decided to then click. On getting there I saw links to several sites and jobs that I was not familiar with. Shortly she dropped a number of someone who can help put us through, and she demandedsome pay, which we did. After some time, I told her I would not be able to carry on because it is not a straightforward thing, and I am not just ready for such kind of stress considering the fact that I have many people to care for at home. Well, when I told her that, she was not so happy, but I encouraged her to continue. Later on, I was in discussion with my husband.
I told him the outcome and then added that I was sure that I wasn't going for this course, but I paid just to support the little girl. One failure I experienced here was the fact that I paid money into something I was sure I wouldn't be able to handle, but just because I needed to make her feel happy and belonging, I paid. Within the space of one month, this is like the second thing I ventured into that I knew was going to fail, but I just continued because of the relationship, and I spent so much fortune.
The major thing I need to do now is just to focus on my lane and forget about trying to please people while I displease myself in the long run. Making people happy is good, but not at the expense of my happiness. This is a serious weakness for me that I am really praying to overcome. Please, if you do know of practicable ways I can avoid this happening, do let me know, as it has cost me so much both monetarily and happiness-wise.
Thank you for coming by this edition.