They all had more than one thing in common when it comes to parenting and teaching discipline to your kids.
Since I'm a south Asian, we don't have "soft parenting" like oh, here's mobile phone now stop crying instead we used to get another slap/slipper if cried after getting punished or doing something wrong.
That sounds toxic but trust me it's not cause that's exactly what kept "fear of parents" in our minds.
I always knew the outcome if I was undisciplined
Just because I knew my parents are strict and they don't like it if I'm not listening to what they said "I'm in trouble" and
That's why everytime I was outside playing with friends, I knew by sharp 5pm I have to comeback at home before dark
image by Şahin Sezer Dinçer from Pixabay
I knew I'll only get to play those games if I did my homework, went to tution on time.
There are times when I got punished for coming home late or going to far out of town with friends and many such things
The punishment at that time felt like injustice but now it is making a lot sense and that's how strict parents usually work, it has long term effects on child.
There's no need to be extreme
I hate to admit that there were times when things became so harsh that I just wanted to run away from the home cause it didn't felt like one
It was more like abuse if your nose is bleeding or lips getting swell and all that was nightmarish.
Like I started speaking more time alone and didn't speak with anyone else like I used to.. and it just how I lost most of confidence as a kid back then.
image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay
It happens when your parents aren't even listening to you and you're just getting punished for no reason. That's all toxic parenting instead of "teaching discipline".
It make sense to keep a little fear in mind of kid that "you're his parents" so kid should know how to respect and talk to elders but scaring the shit out of him doesn't do any good but only makes things worse and I guess it's the story of many Asian kids.
Wrapping Up..
Nowadays parents are doing much better because when they were kid, they went through all that phase and took that as a lesson to become a role model for your own kids
So it's going to be the same case here, I'd become the kind of parent I wanted for myself to my kids in future.
I think we can all admit that there's a lot better ways to teach discipline or all other things to kids than punishing.. at least schools are getting better at it.
Though I wonder what's your thoughts on this and how do you see this whole matter. Do share your thoughts in the comments.