As I picked the list of goals I had set for 2022, placing it beside the one I made for 2023, I felt the sting behind my eyes and the watery feeling that came along with it. I didn't know if it was okay to cry or if I had to scream for joy but what I knew was that I had achieved feats I never imagined I could within the last 365 days. I took out a fresh sheet of paper to draw up a list for the coming year but I paused when a certain event came to mind.
Source
I remembered how I had gone to my brother's house to spend a couple of days before we eventually traveled to Port Harcourt for our usual family gathering. My two brothers and I sat making noise in the compound.
My older brother was showing off, talking about the notable feats he had achieved and how much was recorded in his bank statement for the year. How he had gained a certain level of emotional intelligence, especially since he started dealing with foreign clients, and how he had begun intentional healthy living.
My younger brother stopped him right in his tracks to talk about his own accomplishments. He started by calculating how much he had stashed up in his savings account. He bragged about the high-income skill he had learned during the latter part of the year and how he had graduated as second best from the animation school he was attending.
He went as far as taking out his phone to show us the pictures he took before he enrolled at the gym at the beginning of the year and how physically fit, he was looking at that present time.
I sat back smiling and enjoying the drama they were putting up when suddenly my older brother turned to me.
“Treasure, why aren't you saying anything?”
When I looked back on all of my achievements, the only striking thing was that I won two writing competitions sometime within the year.
“And that's it?” My younger brother asked when I told them.
“I mean, I hosted writing classes, got featured in some, built my online community on Facebook….”
“That's one aspect of your life only. What about your finances? What about your emotional life?...”
“Treasure does not have emotions” my younger brother cut in causing both of them to explode in laughter.
I knew they were teasing me, but my head dipped with embarrassment. They were right about the fact that there was no notable achievement in other aspects of my life apart from writing. I had not even explored my writing to the fullest because I had tucked the book I was working on somewhere, afraid to share it with the world because of my perfectionistic nature.
“Don't worry, I promise you both a man in 2023” I said out of embarrassment. That aroused more laughter from both of them because they knew I hardly paid attention to my physical or emotional life.
“Don't promise us a man. You're not under pressure to bring one home, but you're under pressure to gain financial freedom. You're the only one who hasn't done that yet.”
I remember stylishly wiping off the tears that tugged at the corners of my eyes while laughing at the rest of their jokes which had since ceased to be funny.
Yes, Excellence was my family's watchword, and I knew that, so I rephrased my goals for 2023 and made sure to have just three goals on my list.
Seeing how desperately I sought to achieve the goals on my list, I wasn't supposed to be surprised at how much I had grown yet I was.
My mother said once when I sent her some money that she could relax knowing fully well that all her children could now take care of themselves. That statement meant so much to me that I clutched my phone, trying hard not to break into tears.
As I kept reflecting on my life, I noticed I had changed. As of December 2022, I felt it was okay for my mother and older siblings to assist me financially. I didn't see why they didn't have to, after all, I was a student. I tried to remember when last anyone had sent me the money, I requested for, but my mind could only take me to the earliest parts of the year before I got a job.
I finally knew what financial freedom was like, and not in the extravagant way where I had to spend money as I liked but in a responsible way where I had to sort my bills without being a burden on my siblings who were equally trying to set up their lives.